Tag Archives: bodypaint

Foreheads

January 7, 2019 Marsha Mellow Leave a comment

Mulberry Jelly sat on the edge of the stage covered in sticky egg juice and rotten vegetable pulp. He couldn’t figure out what the crowd hated more, his cliché street-rapper name or the combination-spoken word/death metal version of “I’m a little tea pot” he was performing before the riot broke out. One thing he knew for sure; His brilliant career in show biz was over before it started…again. The same thing happened last week when he tried a blues/ballet combo of “Freak” in front of the local Middle School Talent Show Fundraiser. He refused to accept his Mom’s advice to study dentistry or go into his sticky Uncle Morty’s carpet cleaning business. Who were they to call him a talentless hack? No! He would go on! He would make Mulberry Jelly a household name and prove to the world… Aw hell! Who was he kidding? The only reason people showed up to these things was to gawk at him for the bizarre growth on his…..

***This artwork, which is only a red rough here, has been finished to a final render and is ready to be published in our “Body-Oddies” book…and it’s waaay cooler than what’s posted here, but you’ll probably never see it unless you get the book. I really only post roughs and older work online (and only a small percentage of the pages of my books). I save the best stuff for the books, so if you like the crap I let you see here, consider getting one of my books. It IS how I make my living. I have 3 books out so far and 2 more coming this year. There are links above or you can find them on Etsy and Amazon (search EEW books)…’they make excellent gifts.’ -Marsha

Book Exerpt, Clowns, Flash Fiction

Second Skin

December 31, 2018 Marsha Mellow Leave a comment

Mick was always an awkward fellow. He tried to be a regular dude like everybody else but it never really felt right. He did his best to dress normal, he had an average haircut, dated respectable girls…even got a boring middle management job in a large corporation, just as everybody expected, still, Mick was never quite comfortable. He had the constant urge to break out of the box, jump up and sing, to run about, dancing with joy to be free. He struggled with it every day…and sometimes he slipped; He would catch himself about to smear his face with lipstick and crack lewd jokes – or smash his bosses face down into the banana cream pie he accidentally brought to work – or pull out the condiment bottles he had in his trouser pockets (for some strange reason) and paste everyone in the board room with goopy ketchup and mustard. Worse, some days he would get all the way to work and realize he’d worn one striped sock and one plaid sock (weird). And every day it just got harder and harder to fight the urge to shred his dull grey business suit, to peel off his own mundane skin and release the amazing, passionate (spectacular) monster that was trapped inside…..and one day, when he no longer had a reason not to…he did just that.

***The first post of 2019. Scrape off all the crap and the crud and wash away the slime of last year so you can be clear headed and ready for the clusterfuck that’s coming. The image above was adapted from an Analog Magazine spread John did in 2013…then used as the BIO page illustration in our 3rd book,”Bludgeon the Clown” for EEW Books. Find our books at www.sallemander.com. -Marsha

Book Exerpt, Clowns, Flash Fiction, Political

Winter Weather Advisory

December 24, 2018 Marsha Mellow 1 Comment

It was June and sunny. The first sunny day he’d seen in months. Standing atop a 60 foot snow drift, Santa surveyed the landscape of Death Valley, Nevada. This was no way to spend his vacation. Where were the buzzards and the fire ants? Where were the salt flats and sand dunes? This place looked too much like home this year…how awful!

Well, what did he expect? This is where things like consumerism, waste, greed and stupidity get you – and he had to admit, he played his part. Ever since they hired him to sell capitalism to the huddled masses, back in the 30’s and 40’s…..a snowpocalypse was inevitable. Mother Nature swings like a sassy pendulum, knocking the idiots aside with the good ones. Maybe the random survivors will come through smarter and better this time…but he doubted it. Oh well, he still had to find sunscreen for Mrs. Clause or she’d have his head.

He got back into his sleigh and flew off in search of a frozen supermarket, hoping the looters left some Twinkies…or some milk duds…

THE SANTA: Arguably the greatest Christian icon in history, he is also the hardest fellow to meet. When I flew to the North Pole for an interview I found nothing there but a giant peppermint flavored pole…and simply planning to intercept his holiday flight got me an angry visit from Homeland Security (again). Frankly, I couldn’t confirm he existed at all (I was crushed). Yet somehow, he still manages to deliver the most fabulous gifts, each year, to the most affluent and entitled children in the world, (poor children are obviously “BAD”)…..maybe its just as well I didn’t meet this clown. -Marsha

Clowns, Greeting Card

Merry Christmas

December 17, 2018 Marsha Mellow Leave a comment

Twas quarter past Christmas. We sat in despair. The eviction notice was posted with care. No money for food, no money for rent, what little we saved for presents was spent. Our jobs were in China, our taxes were due and the kids would be up in an hour or two…

When what to my wondering eyes should appear but a Holiday Clown with a menacing sneer. He carried a hammer, already slick, with the juice of that jolly elitist, Saint Nick. And he gave us a satchel of presents and cash that was meant for a gaggle of rich little brats. And he said with a laugh as he strode out of sight, “Merry Christmas to ALL…..and to all a good night!”

***This is the third in a set of 3 new snarky Christmas cards we posted at our EEWbooks Etsy store. We usually sell these for $4.99 each, at the book fests and comic cons, but you can get the set 3 for $12.00. Use the www.sallemander.com link above to our site and hit the Etsy link. Buy lots of them for…..stuff. Thanks. -Marsha

body-oddies, Greeting Card

Seasons Greetings

December 10, 2018 Marsha Mellow Leave a comment

Clowns for Christmas? Fingers with Faces? Expecting reindeer and elves? Think that’s weird, go find a mirror and take a good look at yourselves!

***This is the second in a set of 3 snarky Christmas cards we’re posting up for sale at our Etsy store, EEWbooks. We usually sell them for $4.99 each at the book fests and comic cons, but you can get the set of 3 for $12.00. Follow the link to our site www.sallemander.com and click on the Etsy link (simple!). Buy them they’re fantastic. Thanks. -Marsha

body-oddies, Greeting Card

Happy Holidays

December 3, 2018 Marsha Mellow Leave a comment

Lester the Jester threw up his supper, emerging instead as a fool named Skupper who gagged on his guts as they spilled from his gob expelling another named Bob, who horked up a loogie of phlegm and bile, appearing at last as a Jester named Lyle who stuck out his tongue and said with a leer “Happy Christmas to all and a Merry New Year.”

***This is the first in a set of 3 new snarky Christmas cards we’re posting up on our Etsy store for sale. We sell them at the book festivals and conventions for $4.99 each, but you can get the set of 3 for $12.00 at EEWbooks on Etsy (follow the www.sallemander.com link above to the Etsy link – easy!). Thanks. -Marsha

body-oddies, Book Exerpt

My Favorite Place

November 26, 2018 Marsha Mellow 1 Comment

I really can’t think of a favorite place but I love the idea of flavored space, which happens to rhyme with ‘baby face’ like the horrible growth on my cheek.

I like the idea of an ‘open mic’ as long as I’m never the Mike. Exposing my guts to a crowd if you like might make some people freak.

I never accepted an open ‘Hand Shake’ though I don’t mind a hand made cake. Swallowing fingers is awful to take but easy to grasp – so to speak.

But my favorite place is up my nose where adorable ‘nose hair’ grows, which is usually better than ‘smelly toes’ ’cause its cute and fuzzy and chic.

***Lets take a little break from our holiday shopping frenzy for something adorable and wholesome. This little ditty makes John giggle like a tickled toddler every time he reads it. He’s done rough sketches of all the ‘Body-Oddies’ it mentions so far (even though we only used ‘baby face’ for this post). Even though “Body-Oddies won’t be out until next year, you can buy our 3 already published books at our EEWbooks Etsy store or by following the link above to www.sallemander.com. Thanks. -Marsha

Clowns, Flash Fiction

Doug the Slug

November 19, 2018 Marsha Mellow Leave a comment

Doug felt sluggish sitting through another mind numbing meeting. Boring people – like him, in boring suits – like his, sat around the conference room table giving boring briefs on their departments. Doug’s section had nothing to report, he was only there to fill his boss’ seat while he was off golfing. They droned on and on like lazy bees; “Turn to page 68 and review diagram 123g…” and “good news in marketing assessment accounts payable, see the bar graph in addendum 6…” and Doug was too hyped up on caffeine to fall asleep like Bob from Legal.

Then…..he had a funny feeling. Not a laugh out loud feeling – a strange, funny feeling…and the last thing he heard before it all went sideways was another inane comment from Alice, the CFO; “…and sales were sluggish again last week…” and POW!!

A drip formed on the tip of Doug’s nose and slid off onto his tie, which he noticed was already flowing like liquid into his lap. He watched as his fingers dissolved into sludge and his hands turn to pulp. He felt his hair and eyebrows melt, his skin go flubbery and sag and finally his whole head collapse into an eggy mess down his torso before everything sploshed down into a viscous puddle of goo around his shoes (which didn’t take part in the transformation for some reason).

Funny thing is, he doubted that anybody in the meeting even noticed what had happened. Perhaps everyone there was melting like him…but he doubted it…he could still hear Alice droning and Bob snoring.

***I think melting in meetings was the best part of working in corporate America, surpassed only by exploding like a hamster in a microwave, just to see the mess all over everybody’s boring suits. This image is from our book, “Bludgeon the Clown” which you can find, with all our books, at www.sallemander.com -Marsha

body-oddies, Flash Fiction

Slack Jaw

November 12, 2018 Marsha Mellow Leave a comment

Father Rodriguez Domingo Emanuel Castillo stood on the dais before his congregation at Sunday mass, slack jawed and silent – as if in a trance. Everyone was (respectfully) baffled as he committed his minor, weekly spectacle. Intense prayers hissed through humid air, a mumbled chanting, eyes lolling, bodies swaying, swooning and barfing in awe as his lips and cheeks slackened and the agonizing minutes passed. A thick silence fell as his melting jaw splashed into a dribbley puddle at their feet. Nobody moved or said anything… everyone just stared, stupidly…because it must be a miracle… right?

***I love religion, such a rich source of popular entertainment, so irrational and blind. Someday, humans may become civilized enough to remember it fondly…like wearing diapers and learning to eat with a fork…if we survive the religion of Capitalism. Meanwhile, you can find our books at www.sallemander.com. Next weekend we will be at Philcon, The Philadelphia Sci-fi convention. Come find us under the EEW Books banner. -Marsha

Clowns, Political

Uncle Sammy the Clown

November 5, 2018 Marsha Mellow Leave a comment

Sammy the Clown thought he could fly so he threw himself off the roof and flapped his arms for eighty-nine floors ‘fore he realized his tragic goof.

***Even if Uncle Sammy here is only an inch or two off the ground it will still be a painful, messy landing. There isn’t much more to say about American politics today…except that we do real Clowns a disservice by associating them with politicians. It taints their integrity. This is a page from our book, ‘Marsha Mellow’s Blue-ish Freaks’. You can find all our books at; www.sallemander.com -Marsha