Creepy

***Our second book project, “Creepy Clown Coloring Book.”  There’s no short, flash-fiction story for this one, John simply saw these guys hanging out at the blues club on 17th Street one night and did a sketch of them on the spot. Don’t worry, just because its a coloring book doesn’t mean its any less amazing (awful) and beautiful than our other works.  Its a delightful gallery of fantastic images designed to rekindle your fondest nightmares – in a grizzly fender bender down memory lane.  Its only $10. and you can get your own copy by at our Esty shop. Go to www.etsy.com and search EEWbooks. It makes a fabulous holiday gift (even for the people you like).  -Marsha

Blue-ish Freaks

***There’s nothing like a good wholesome (shameless) promotion to hasten the debauchery of our annual holiday buying frenzy in America. We are so proud to present our first book, “Marsha Mellow’s Blue-ish Freaks”, an amazing, hand crafted, fully illustrated collection of bizarre clown rhymes and ditties…completely free of dull, capitalist influence. You can find it at our Etsy shop by searching EEWbooks at www.etsy.com. It makes a fantastic holiday gift for the people you like…as well as your family. -Marsha

Fighting Tooth and Nail

***This sketch was done for the intro to our new book, “Body-Oddies,” which is plodding along through the publisher’s process. We don’t really mind. Frankly there’s no rush to get it done right now – in 2020. There are no viable markets (including online) to introduce it into until the pandemic subsides a bit. But, for me and my illustrator, John, there are several brilliant projects to get done and some amazing creative time available do them, so let it plod through the publisher’s, and when we get back to selling (next year), we’ll have more to offer a wider audience! -Marsha

Lester the Jester

lester-the-Jester-29

Lester the Jester threw up his supper,                                                   emerging instead as a fool named Skupper                                                  who gagged on his guts as they spilled from his gob                                      expelling another named Bob,                                                                             who horked up a loogie of phlegm and bile,                                                        appearing at last as a Jester named Lyle                                                               who turned to his mates and stuck out his tongue saying,                         “Better off here… than out Lester’s bung.”

***He ate something funny.  This is from our first book, “Marsha Mellow’s Blue-ish Freaks.”  Buy the book. It will transform your life! Find all our books at our Etsy shop (search EEWbooks), or visit our website (find the link at the top of the page);  www.sallemander.com   -Marsha 

POOP!

A really bad poem is one without rhyme.

It sounds really awkward every single recitation.  (time) 

It’s meter and beat are uneven and base. 

Just rhyming won’t do it, it needs a good – bouncy rhythm and a spot-on, neeto keen…..pace. 

And don’t forget poets who make up new words, 

who clutter the page with “scruffulous’ turds.                                                

A really bad poem just might make you cry.                                                      

Not like…from “feelings!”  but a poke in the eye.                                           

Yeah, a really bad poem will poke out your eye,                                         

It will stomp on your toes and might make you…..screech like a howler monkey (cry).

But a really bad poem is funny sometimes                                                         

if you get past bad meter and horrible rhymes.                                              

A really bad poem might just be crap                                                                 

’cause the person who wrote it’s a horrible chap.                                      

You might just not care for their poetic shit                                                   

and feel like you just want to…..GAG.  (spit)    

***We have all the BEST poop (and the worst bad poems).  Our poop is so good it almost looks delicious (if you only knew what we had to eat to get it to look like that…) in Fact, all the shit we make with EEW Books is the best, locally produced and free of corporate influence.  Find our books and stuff at www.sallemander.com and at our Etsy shop, (search EEWbooks).   -Marsha