Constant Craving

constant craving-13

“Constant gravy!?…did he say constant gravy?” but everyone was already busy writing and the professor’s response was garbled…but sure, constant gravy seemed right.  I was feeling pretty woozy since I cut myself shaving earlier and couldn’t make it stop bleeding.  It just gushed, thick and goopy…yeah, constant gravy…coool!

What began as a simple nick under my nose, got worse a few minutes later when blood started running down my cheek.  An hour later, it was dripping copiously.  In two hours it was a steady flow and by lunchtime I was squirting all over the place, soaking my clothes, the furniture and the walls and it was impossible to concentrate as the room kept spinning faster and faster…..

I must have spaced out for a while because when I woke, the stuff leaking out was no longer red.  Thankfully it was just cheese wizz leaking from the push nozzle on my head.  What?!…don’t you have a nozzle?…and what’s so weird about that?  Best of all, the harder I pumped the thicker it flowed…aaaaah, pretty…..

I must have spaced out for a while but was relieved to see that I wasn’t bleeding any more and it was actually gravy all along…and doesn’t everybody get their gravy from a cut on their face?  My gravy was really warm and rich, mmmmmmmm.  It was bluish green with vermillion streaks and had delightful lumps of darkish mauve.  Clear waxy bits of rice and corn changed into garbanzos and back.  There were gangly chunks of chicken and potatoes with a sprinkling of cayan pepper fins, oregano claws and ground curry scales.  Carrots, onions and celery swam serenely with a school of minced garlic on the aroma of steamed guacamole tails…oooooh!  I love a good stew with gravy, especially when I’m feeling so limp and cold…Just the thing to pick me up…..

I must have spaced out…what was I saying?…..

***This really happened.  It’s lucky that John got a good sketch of this guy at the writing workshop before things went sideways.  This post is an illustration from our BODY-ODDIES book, whose publication was just bumped to next year.  EEW Books decided to give John (the illustrator) more time to do a better quality job.  It’s a little weird, I never worked with a company who cared about quality or had any discernable integrity…  In the meantime, I am finishing up on an illustrated sci-fi/flash-fiction book, to be published first – this year.  You can find all of our current books at   -Marsha

Birth of a Clown

Birth of a Clown-47The birth of a Clown is a sacred thing.                                                                 A blessed and joyous day.                                                                                               So pinch your nose and light a match                                                                    and try not to flush it away.

***They say “You can attract more flies with honey than with vinegar” – but even more with poop.  This is a page from our first book, “Blue-ish Freaks.”  Find all our books at or follow the links above.   -Marsha

The Old City Square

Vacation: Day 1

Arrived in the city okay, it was an easy flight.  I booked a little Bed & Breakfast right off the central square, in the old part of the city.  It’s as beautiful as the pictures.  I love the architecture…but I seem to have arrived in the aftermath of some kind of protest or riot or something.  There were broken windows, burning debris and overturned cars.  I also saw injured people being carried away.  But…it was all cleared up in no time and the old city returned to its colorful, medieval charm.  I love the costumes they dress up in for the tourists.  Excited to begin exploring this place.


Vacation:  Day 3

There was a riot in the old city square again.  It was very scary…and exhilarating!  I had met some of the locals while shopping.  They seemed nice enough but looked suspiciously at me, as a foreigner, and were wound up waaaay too tight.  Events in the news had people on edge, but I managed to piece it together from gossip;

I seems they had a popular athlete who used his fame and fortune to protest the discrimination of his own minority (brown skinned) culture.  I noticed how they treated brown people in my brief interactions, so far, despite being the same species.  There had already been several ugly riots…not to end the injustice, but to keep the status quo, so people could enjoy their sports without feeling uncomfortable.  They smashed and looted brown skinned people’s businesses and burned the athlete’s swag and effigy in the old city square.  It sounded ridiculous…

This time people were upset because a prominent shoe company hired the same athlete to advertise their brand.  A little research showed that the company used child slave labor in their factories…but that didn’t bother people.  They just hated the brown people protesting.  The government and the wealthy used the media to whip everyone up into a frenzy…and they rioted.

People smashed and looted and gathered up all their shoes and burned them in the old city square.  This place is weird.


Vacation:  Day 6

There was another riot today.  No sooner had things settled down and I was able to get out to enjoy the city again, when new rumblings of trouble began among the locals.  This time it was political.  It took me about an hour of research to get the measure of their incredibly broken economic and political system;

So…the city’s last big election featured two grossly incompetent candidates.  The numerous crimes and scandals of the winner were already rich fodder for regular riots…but this time (with the help of elitist propaganda), instead of demonizing the source of uncomfortable information (as usual), they stirred people up against the press, the messengers of all the embarrassing and dangerous news.  Once whipped into a proper froth, the rioters smashed and looted, rounding up journalists and writers, beating them bloody and burning all the books and newspapers in the old city square…they also burned down the city library.

It’s too bad, it was a gorgeous building and some of their literature was extraordinary.


Vacation:  Day 10

I spent the last few days locked in my room.  The city wasn’t safe.  There was a minor riot yesterday, something about red haired people seemed to provoke a spontaneous fracas.  They’re happening more and more frequently.  This time ‘gingers’ were rounded up and beaten, they broke red stuff, looted red stores…oh, I don’t know!!!  I was too busy dying my hair black to get the details.  It doesn’t matter…there’s a new riot brewing now;

People just found out that their children are being raped and abused by priests…but they LOVE their religion.  I’m worried they might love it more than their children.  I have to get out of here before they start burning their children in the old city square.  This place is insane.  I was supposed to stay two more weeks but I really can’t take much more.  I’ve arranged for a flight out.  I leave tonight…wish me luck.

 ***This is a new short story I did, this week, for a new sci-fi/flash-fiction book I’m working on – with illustrations by John Allemand.  The working title is, “A Poke in the Eye.”  The image was originally a cover for the June, 2003 issue of Analog Magazine.  You can find our current books at (see the link above).   -Marsha

Sausage Fest

Willy arrived at the party with his friend Willy and his other friend Willy.  He was happy to be invited, he and his friends didn’t get many invites (they were kinda nerds) but it soon became apparent that this party would be another sausage fest.  The prospects looked pretty gloomy when he saw that everybody there was a ‘Willy’.  At least there was plenty of beer.  After a while he noticed the place getting really hot and humid.  There might as well have been flames licking up between the gratings in the floor…and all the Willies were getting some awkward, nasty looking tan lines – just like his – and they were drinking gallons of ice-cold beer to compensate for…

That’s when he realized…it was all a scam.  This was a…..BAR-BE-QUE!!!

***Happy Labor Day!  If you are a wealthy capitalist, today is a day of triumph.  You’ve won the class war that most people still don’t seem to realize already happened.  If you are a working person, don’t despair, sure the unions are mostly dead and your job is a shit-show, but from here there’s nowhere to go but up…HOORAY!!!  This is one from our “Body-Oddies” project, a craptastic journey through the rancid mind of my artist, John Allemand.  find and buy our books at    -Marsha