A Really Bad Poem
A really bad poem is one without rhyme. It sounds really awkward every single…recitation. (time) It’s meter and beat are uneven and base. Just rhyming won’t do it, it needs a good – bouncy rhythm and a spot-on, neeto-keen…..pace. And don’t forget poets who make up new words, who clutter the page with “scruffulous” turds. A really bad poem just might make you cry. Not like…from “feelings!” but a poke in the eye. Yeah, a really bad poem will poke out you’re eye, will stomp on your toes and might make you…..screech like a howler monkey! (cry) But a really bad poem is funny sometimes if you get past bad meter and horrible rhymes. A really bad poem might just be crap ’cause the person who wrote it’s a horrible chap. You might just not care for their poetic shit and feel like you just want to…..GAG. (spit)
***I’ve paired ‘A Really Bad Poem’ with our new “POOP.” sticker design just in time for our first Comic Con of the year. John and I will have a table (with a load of new orig. art prints and stickers) at the NJ Horror Con and Film Festival, March 31st to April 2nd, in Edison NJ. Find it online at; http://www.newjerseyhorrorcon.com/. Come find us at the show. -Marsha
Doug felt sluggish sitting through another mind numbing meeting. Boring people, like him, in boring suits, like his, sat around the conference room table giving boring briefs on their departments. Doug’s section had nothing to report, he was only there to fill his boss’ seat while he was off golfing. They droned on and on like lazy bees; “Turn to page 68 and review diagram 123g…” and “good news in marketing assessment accounts payable, see the bar graph in addendum 6…” and Doug was too hyped up on caffeine to fall asleep like Bob from Legal.
Then…..he had a funny feeling. Not a laugh out loud feeling – a strange, funny feeling…and the last thing he heard before it all went sideways was another inane comment from Alice, the CFO; “…and sales were sluggish again last week…” and POW!!
A drip formed on the tip of Doug’s nose and slid off onto his tie, which he noticed was already flowing like liquid into his lap. He watched as his fingers dissolved into sludge and his hands turn to pulp. He felt his hair and eyebrows melt, his skin go flubbery and sag and finally his whole head collapse into an eggy mess down his torso before everything sploshed down into a viscous puddle of goo around his shoes (which didn’t take part in the transformation for some reason).
Funny thing is, he doubted that anybody in the meeting even noticed what had happened. Perhaps everyone there was melting like him…but he doubted it…he could still hear Alice droning and Bob snoring.
***I think melting in meetings was the best part of working in corporate America, surpassed only by exploding like a hamster in a microwave just to see the mess all over everybody’s boring suit. Happy Spring everybody. -Marsha
Willy arrived at the party with his friend Willy and his other friend Willy. He was happy to be invited, he and his friends didn’t get many invites (they were kinda nerds) but it soon became apparent that this party would be another sausage fest. The prospects looked pretty gloomy when he saw that everybody there was a ‘Willy’. At least there was plenty of beer. After a while he noticed the place getting really hot and humid. There might as well have been flames licking up between the gratings in the floor…and all the Willies were getting some awkward, nasty looking tan lines – just like his – and they were drinking gallons of ice-cold beer to compensate for…
That’s when he realized…it was all a scam. This…was a…..bar-be-que!
***Today, in the midst of the ‘Blizzard of 2017’, all I can think of is bar-be-que and beer. This is a new one from our “Body-Oddies” project, a craptastic journey through the rancid mind of my artist, John Allemand. So glad that’s over. We have enough material to do the book but now I guess we’re just spewing out material as a compulsion. -Marsha
There once was a clown named Liam, so small it was hard to see ‘im ’till I stomped him flat with a colorful splatt. Now, I wouldn’t want to be ‘im.
***We posted this one ’cause it was an easy one as we prepare our new book for publication. ‘Bludgeon the Clown’ will (hopefully) be out by May 1st and we’re working around the clock to finish it. This image is from our ‘Creepy Clown Coloring Book’…but we posted another version back on Jan. 12th 2016. I’m not a big fan of John’s work but I really like this one…it makes me hungry for seven layer nacho dip. -Marsha