Creepy Clown Coloring Book

Creepy-Clown-48 copy ***Our new book is out.  We got a hefty stack of advance copies and are selling them like crazy, first at the Newark Comic Con (Aug. 20th) and now among friends near and far and online.  We also have both our books;  ‘Creepy Clown Coloring Book’ and ‘Blue-ish freaks’ for sale in our first retail store, Time Warp Comics, in Cedar Grove, NJ.

     Don’t worry, just because its a coloring book its no less awful (and beautiful) than our other works.  Its a delightful gallery of fantastic images designed to rekindle your fondest nightmares in a grizzly fender bender down memory lane.  Its only $10. and you can get your own copy by following the link on this page to www.sallemander.com.  -Marsha

Birth of a Clown

Birth of a Clown-47The birth of a Clown is a sacred thing.                                                                 A blessed and joyous day.                                                                                               So pinch your nose and light a match                                                                    and try not to flush it away.

***They say “You can attract more flies with honey than with vinegar” – but even more with poop.  I guess the same applies to Comic Cons…where my ‘POOP’ stickers were a HUGE hit.  Oh, they loved my new books and original art prints and stuff – but the poop stickers lured them in like adorable, moist little champs.  The Newark Comic Con last Saturday was a good one for us.  We met tons of cool, beautiful, fascinating comic people, had a great time (and even made a little money).  I can’t wait for the next show in September.  The image this week is page 7 from ‘Marsha Mellow’s Blue-ish Freaks’.  My new ‘Creepy Clowns Coloring Book’ should be up on our site an ready for sale next week.  -Marsha

Headstand

Headstand-46 

Henry Higgenbottom had an amazing talent. Welllll, maybe not so amazing as, lets say, ‘quirky’.  You see, Henry could “headstand”.  Yeah,  not so amazing…but since nobody else could ever do it quite like him, it kinda became his ‘thing’.  And despite all practical advice. he ‘did’ the crap out of his ‘thing’.  He became a minor local celebrity (oddity), got his fifteen minutes of fame on the T.V. news and bartered that into a stint on the state carnival circuit which propelled him into a pretty good gig with a circus sideshow troupe as a ‘Tumbling Contortionist’.  All things considered, however, his convulsive hiccupping act usually stole the spotlight (and all the laughs) and made his ‘headstand’ gimmick look pretty dull.  But Henry never gave up on it.  It was his own unique gift to the world, a sacred piece of his very soul and he made sure it was part of every show he did…..until one day he accidentally mixed his hiccups with his ‘headstand’ and so disrupted his specially balanced stance that he snapped his own ridiculous neck.

***Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE who has seen the image above seems to think it has some political meaning – perhaps implying the state of the nation or of the American voting public… Bollocks and drivel!  It is no such thing.  Read the post!  Its nothing more than a tragic fragment of an ambitious loser.  We don’t do politics in this blog!

John and I will have a table in Artist Alley at the Newark Comic Con on Saturday, August 20 (1100 McCarter Hwy., Newark, NJ) where we will be presenting advance copies of my new book, “Marsha Mellow’s Creepy Clown Coloring Book”, as well as original art prints and copies of three books by our good friend Joe Del Priore.  -Marsha  

Uprising

Uprising-45

The Clowns rose up in anger one day                                                                      deciding enough is enough.                                                                                            They poured out into the streets en masse,                                                        yelling and juggling stuff. 

They wanted ‘equal rights’, they said,                                                                to be ‘taken seriously’.                                                                                                    An end to random giggles and leers.                                                                   They wanted respect, you see. 

Snarling traffic with mini Clown cars,                                                               squirtling flowers and ties,                                                                                         their strike turned into a riot (of sorts)                                                           pelting police with pies. 

They overwhelmed the barricades,                                                                storming the walls and ditches                                                                                  and made their way up to capital hill,                                                                    leaving the cops in stitches. 

But as they breached the chamber doors,                                                       their smiles turned into frowns,                                                                                  for the senate was already occupied                                                                      by Idiots, Mimes and Clowns.

I wrote this piece and John illustrated it almost two decades ago.  I thought, for sure, things MUST change for the better by now…..  -Marsha

Old Wives’ Tail

Old-wives-tail-44

Last night she came in through the bathroom window…the one up on the third floor.  At this point I’m too numb to be surprised.  Last week, before bed, she reached up to take her glasses off and her whole head came away.  She paid it no mind, just set it down on the nightstand next to her spittoon and went to sleep – I slept on the couch that night.

Three days ago she came home from a visit with her mother dragging a massive, spiked tail behind her as if nothing was amiss (talk about an old wives tail).  The dogs were pretty upset.  I spent the night ‘working’ in my office with a bottle of scotch and a joint.

So, the bathroom window thing was hardly a bother – and the mystery of how she managed the climb was solved when I noticed her folding leathery bat wings up under her coat.  What those long curly tusks could possibly be used for, I cannot guess…..but I think I’ll sleep out in the car tonight.

***This is a true story.  It happened to a guy I knew…well actually the next door neighbor of a second cousin, twice removed of my best friend’s cubicle mate (from her old job’s) mother-in-law.  It’s really sad how people drift apart but its inevitable and sometimes we just have to adapt to the new paradigm.  This is another unofficial ‘red rough’ sketch from our upcoming book “Body-Oddies” which I’m forbidden to post…but what John (my illustrator) doesn’t know won’t kill him.   -Marsha