Tag Archives: poetry

Two Faced

Mike was a two-faced liar…no, ‘liar’ was his last NAME.

He only had two faces, ’cause that was the way he came.

He also had seventeen toes, and a nine inch tail, which was flat,

and five short pricks that fit like a glove, but nobody cared about that!

Everyone hated a two-faced liar. They called it a curse and a sin,

but once he became the president, he actually fit right in.

Baby Face

I really can’t think of a favorite place                                                                    but I love the idea of flavored space,                                                                     which happens to rhyme with ‘baby face’                                                          like the horrible growth on my cheek.

I like the idea of an ‘open mic’                                                                                  as long as I’m never the Mike.                                                                                 Exposing my guts to a crowd if you like                                                             might make some people freak.

I never accepted an open ‘Hand Shake’                                                               though I don’t mind a hand made cake.                                                              Swallowing fingers is awful to take                                                                        but easy to grasp – so to speak.

But my favorite place is up my nose,  where adorable ‘nose hair’ grows, which is usually better than ‘smelly toes’  ’cause its cute and fuzzy and chic.

***Lets take a little break from the national disgrace of American elections and corporatized holidays for something light, adorable and wholesome.  This little ditty makes John giggle like a tickled toddler every time he reads it.   He’s done rough sketches of all the ‘Body-Oddies’ it mentions (even though we only used ‘baby face’ for this post), for the new “Body-Oddies” book.  Find our first four books at our EEWbooks Etsy store.  Thanks.  -Marsha


Democrat?  Republican?  Who can fuckin’ tell?                                          Red state, Blue state?  Die and go to Hell!                                                    Argue ’bout it all you want, knock each other out.                                 ‘Right-Left’ bullshit ain’t what its about.

***This is such an easy re-post! This image is an excellent metaphor for a criminally inactive American government in the fatal, final decline of late-stage capitalism (yes, both parties and all three branches). A police state, during a global pandemic and environmental disaster, a corporate oligarchy with unchecked greed, graft and stupidity rotting away the core of the richest empire on Earth, with the most gigantic army…history shows us the fate of nations that become so weak.

This image was first published in 2015, in our first book, “Marsha Mellow’s Blue-ish Freaks.” You can find our first four books (and BUY them) by following the links to our Etsy shop, or go to etsy.com and search EEWbooks. -Marsha

Bludgeon the Clown


***These are the original rough sketches for the cover of our 3rd book, “Bludgeon the Clown,” a fully illustrated graphic field guide exposing the grizzly details of our current worldwide clown conspiracy. The material in this book could irrevocably alter life as we know it (for the better), unless we’re really careful.  Written by Marsha Mellow (with over 100 illustrations by John Allemand), it is 100 pages of candy-coated, yummy, clown-infected goodness (with nuts).  Find it and buy it at www.sallemander.com or search EEWbooks at etsy.com.   -Marsha




Dragon Man Dan had a lot of nice pills.                                                        Some made him better and stronger.                                                                One for his asthma, one for his heart,                                                                one made his pecker longer.                                                                                    But all of those pills, for all their delight,                                                      killed him, as you might expect,                                                                      though they kept his body preserved for years                                            and left his penis erect.

***I’ve never posted this rough sketch before and refuse to post the final art.  If you want to see it, you’ll have to buy the book, “Marsha Mellow’s Blue-ish Freaks.”  Find it (along with my other 3 books) at www.sallemander.com.   -Marsha

Uncle Sammy the Clown

Sammy the Clown thought he could fly                                                              so he threw himself  off the roof                                                                           and flapped his arms for eighty-nine floors                                                 ‘fore he realized his tragic goof.

***Okay, this one’s political.  Yeah, it’s a keen example of the ‘rough sketch to final art process’ thing, but I posted it to show how thoroughly fucked America is as coronavirus spreads.  Even if Uncle Sammy here is only an inch or two off the ground, that fall is gonna hurt.  People here, by the millions, regardless of their politics or intelligence, are running out of money and food…and they WILL break quarantine.  The U.S. government is NOT helping!!!  This is a page from our 1st book, ‘Marsha Mellow’s Blue-ish Freaks’.  You can find all our books at;  www.sallemander.com   -Marsha


Zig-Zag the Clown has a wonderful wife,                                                          the kindest, most generous partner for life.                                                She’s slender and lovely and cooks like a saint,                                            the perfect companion without a complaint…                                        Except when he comes home at quarter to four,                              smelling of booze and the funk of a whore!                                              That’s when Pandora, his wife, has a FIT!                                                    …and her perfect composure slips, just a bit.

***This rough drawing of Pandora is featured as a finished, full page, full color illustration in our book, “Bludgeon the Clown.”  Find it, filled with over 100 other illustrations (most of which you will NOT find here or anywhere online) at www.sallemander.com.   -Marsha

***I revised the image for this post to the final art, so only people who come to this blog can see it.  We only post a limited amount of art and material from each book (15-20%) so the people who buy them get the privilege of exclusive original material.  We’re not concerned about going a little over the limit here because hardly anybody visits and blogs are pretty much obsolete anyway.  -Marsha

Bludgeon the Clown

Bludgeon the Clown was shit-faced-stoned,                                                surly, loose and frisky,                                                                                              barely able to handle his car                                                                                      on crack cocaine and whiskey.                                                                    Bludgeon was stopped by the cops that night                                              and battered under arrest,                                                                                          for jerking too much as the tazers hit                                                                  and sobbing in fierce protest.

***Here is the original rough sketch for Bludgeon, published as a 2 page spread on page 28 & 29 of our first book, “Blue-ish Freaks.”  As John the illustrator always says, “It’s not art if it doesn’t piss somebody off!”…and this one definitely does.  Find this and the rest of our books at www.sallemander.com (follow the links).   -Marsha

The Buttox Brothers

The Buttox Brothers were unlucky chaps                                                      who answered to Rupert and Rory.                                                                  Don’t ask me how they got this way,                                                                    it’s a REALLY disgusting story…                                                                                  but wait ’till you hear how we got ’em apart.                                                      It was bloody …and smelly …and gory.

***This is the rough sketch for an illustration from our third book, “Bludgeon the Clown.”  Since shitty rough sketches seem to be working out so well, and will play an important part in our next book, here’s a step back to some cool older work.  If you ever want to see the final art for this sketch,  follow the links and buy the friggin’ book!  I only ever post about 15% of the art from any book project on social media so people who BUY my stuff get exclusive, original material.   -Marsha

Ice Pops

Pops was starting to get pretty old                                                                    and everyone loved the geezer,                                                                                so we poured him into a popsicle mold                                                              and kept him fresh in the freezer.

***My Mother was recently in the hospital for a surgery.  At 78, I guess she’s planning to resuscitate her waning modeling career.  The whole time she was there, she complained incessantly about how COLD her room was, and it WAS cold!  To shut her up, I finally had to explain that at her extreme old age, it was just refrigeration ….probably a malpractice liability thing.   -Marsha