MANAYUNK (a haiku)
Rancid wad of phlegm,
dribbling down a slick rock face.
Let’s name our town that!
Manayunk
Tag Archives: clowns
Feeling Better Now
Chili is good ’cause it holds no surprises,
on this we can all depend;
That it looks and feels the same going in
as it does coming out in the end.
Tommy
Tommy the Clown got sliced in half, to expose his charm and wit, but all I could see as he came apart was maggoty chunks of shit.
***A page from “Marsha Mellow’s Blue-ish Freaks”, the finest example of clown literature ever published in America. -Marsha
Now That He’s Dead
Now that he’s dead we can mess with his shit. We can dance really loud. We can holler and spit.
We can carry him ’round. We can make him look silly, dress him up nice in girly-girl frilly.
We can poke out his eyes. We can cut off his nose, twist-off and break all his fingers and toes.
Now that he’s dead we can draw on his skin, give him a Clown face – a big stupid grin.
We can hang him outside for the vultures and beetles, shave his whole head and poke it with needles.
We can stuff him or shred him or chop him in chunks, then cook him and feed him to hobos and drunks.
Now that he’s dead, he’s starting to rot. Should we bury him now…or not?
But where is the joy? Where’s all the whimsy? There’s plenty to do while the corpse is still flimsy.
And when he goes stiff and gives off a smell, we’ll set him on fire and send him to hell.
He can’t hurt us now. It’s over and done, so now that he’s dead…..let’s have FUN!!
***This poem and image comprise the title page for ‘Chapter 6: Death,’ in our third book, “Bludgeon the Clown” which you can find by following the link above to www.sallemander.com., or go right to Etsy and search EEWbooks. -Marsha
Uprising
The Clowns rose up in anger one day deciding enough was enough. They poured out into the streets en masse, yelling and juggling stuff.
They wanted ‘equal rights’, they said, to be ‘taken seriously’. An end to random giggles and leers. They wanted respect, you see.
Snarling traffic with mini Clown cars, squirtling flowers and ties, their strike turned into a riot (of sorts) pelting police with pies.
They overwhelmed the barricades, storming the walls and ditches and made their way up to capital hill, leaving the cops in stitches.
But as they breached the chamber doors, their smiles turned into frowns, for the senate was already occupied by Idiots, Mimes and Clowns.
I wrote this piece (and John illustrated it) almost two decades ago. I thought, for sure, things MUST have changed for the better by now…but no. Anyway, it finally got published in our third book, “Bludgeon the Clown,” which you can find (and buy) following the www.sallemander.com to our Etsy shop (link at the top), or by going to www.etsy.com, search EEWbooks. -Marsha
Gibbet the Clown
***It’s not as much of a “Welcome to 2021!” as it is a “Farewell to 2020.” Happy new year! -Marsha
Bludgeon the Clown
***Our third book, “Bludgeon the Clown” is a fully illustrated ‘graphic novel’ which exposes the grizzly details of our nationwide clown conspiracy and cover-up. The material in this book could irrevocably alter life as we know it (for the better)…unless we’re really careful. It’s big, it’s beautiful, and tastes like blue-ish nose crystals dipped in spleen juice, slathered in gooey irony and deep fried to a crispy hubris. Find it at our Etsy shop. Go to www.etsy.com and search EEWbooks. BUT…even if clowns aren’t your thing, it makes the perfect holiday gift for your most annoying in-laws – or that estranged sibling you only ever argue with on the holidays. -Marsha
Creepy
***Our second book project, “Creepy Clown Coloring Book.” There’s no short, flash-fiction story for this one, John simply saw these guys hanging out at the blues club on 17th Street one night and did a sketch of them on the spot. Don’t worry, just because its a coloring book doesn’t mean its any less amazing (awful) and beautiful than our other works. Its a delightful gallery of fantastic images designed to rekindle your fondest nightmares – in a grizzly fender bender down memory lane. Its only $10. and you can get your own copy by at our Esty shop. Go to www.etsy.com and search EEWbooks. It makes a fabulous holiday gift (even for the people you like). -Marsha
Blue-ish Freaks
***There’s nothing like a good wholesome (shameless) promotion to hasten the debauchery of our annual holiday buying frenzy in America. We are so proud to present our first book, “Marsha Mellow’s Blue-ish Freaks”, an amazing, hand crafted, fully illustrated collection of bizarre clown rhymes and ditties…completely free of dull, capitalist influence. You can find it at our Etsy shop by searching EEWbooks at www.etsy.com. It makes a fantastic holiday gift for the people you like…as well as your family. -Marsha
Lester the Jester
Lester the Jester threw up his supper, emerging instead as a fool named Skupper who gagged on his guts as they spilled from his gob expelling another named Bob, who horked up a loogie of phlegm and bile, appearing at last as a Jester named Lyle who turned to his mates and stuck out his tongue saying, “Better off here… than out Lester’s bung.”
***He ate something funny. This is from our first book, “Marsha Mellow’s Blue-ish Freaks.” Buy the book. It will transform your life! Find all our books at our Etsy shop (search EEWbooks), or visit our website (find the link at the top of the page); www.sallemander.com -Marsha