Nothing actually happened for a solid fifteen minutes after Eddie drank the formula. He turned to us (once again) with a forlorn look and asked, “Any change yet? How do I look?”
We knew he was crazy. He was one of those people: perpetually dissatisfied, determined to prove that he was ‘special’. He wanted fame, popularity, success (despite being an already brilliant scientist) and he was driven…you know, crazy…AND he had full use of the company’s laboratory. He had access to all the good stuff too; plasma reactor, laser diffractional transmogrifier, crazy glue – not to mention ebola, thermite and flu vaccine…and I think our awkward, mild mannered (crazy) Eddie used all of it on this new batch.
By the sixteenth minute, everything changed and Eddie’s fondest wish was realized. He began mutating wildly, spreading outward in every direction, emitting the strangest squeaking moan. He shook, twisted and bloated. He grew tendrils, sprouted claws and screeched Latin gibberish from three of his seven worm-haired monkey faces as horns emerged from his leathery spine. He puffed a sweet yellow smoke, shed tufts of pink fur and dribbled buckets of gooey puss. He was a frightful sight…but he was just sooooo excited we didn’t have the heart to terminate him.
When he finally slowed and stabilized, he turned all of his seventeen eyes-on-a-stalk to us and in a clever series of musical farts, he asked, “Okay!…How do I look now?”
***The featured rough blue sketch is the original rough for an illustration that was supposed to be a 2 page spread for a story in Asimov’s Sci-Fi Magazine, just as those corporate cheapskates were choosing to eliminate all interior art (to save money). I managed to convince them to let me do it as a cover, which was my first cover for the company. The story above and the final art is featured in my new book, “A Short Burst”. Find it and buy it by going to etsy.com and searching EEWbooks. -Marsha
***A lot of friends have expressed an interest in the method we use to create our book illustrations, and frankly, often seem more impressed by the rougher sketches and designs. They seem to make a more human connection with people. This was the design process for the cover of our latest book, “A Short Burst”. A version of it, very similar to the blue image, was published for a story in Analog Magazine in September, 2006. The book is a clever collection of short, flash-fiction stories…illustrated. You can find it and buy it at our Etsy shop, just go to etsy.com and search EEWbooks. Thanks. -Marsha
Zig-Zag the Clown has a wonderful wife, the kindest, most generous partner for life. She’s slender and lovely and cooks like a saint, the perfect companion without a complaint… Except when he comes home at quarter to four, smelling of booze and the funk of a whore! That’s when Pandora, his wife, has a FIT! …and her perfect composure slips, just a bit.
***This rough drawing of Pandora is featured as a finished, full page, full color illustration in our book, “Bludgeon the Clown.” Find it, filled with over 100 other illustrations (most of which you will NOT find here or anywhere online) at www.sallemander.com. -Marsha
***I revised the image for this post to the final art, so only people who come to this blog can see it. We only post a limited amount of art and material from each book (15-20%) so the people who buy them get the privilege of exclusive original material. We’re not concerned about going a little over the limit here because hardly anybody visits and blogs are pretty much obsolete anyway. -Marsha
Bludgeon the Clown was shit-faced-stoned, surly, loose and frisky, barely able to handle his car on crack cocaine and whiskey. Bludgeon was stopped by the cops that night and battered under arrest, for jerking too much as the tazers hit and sobbing in fierce protest.
***Here is the original rough sketch for Bludgeon, published as a 2 page spread on page 28 & 29 of our first book, “Blue-ish Freaks.” As John the illustrator always says, “It’s not art if it doesn’t piss somebody off!”…and this one definitely does. Find this and the rest of our books at www.sallemander.com (follow the links). -Marsha
The Buttox Brothers were unlucky chaps who answered to Rupert and Rory. Don’t ask me how they got this way, it’s a REALLY disgusting story… but wait ’till you hear how we got ’em apart. It was bloody …and smelly …and gory.
***This is the rough sketch for an illustration from our third book, “Bludgeon the Clown.” Since shitty rough sketches seem to be working out so well, and will play an important part in our next book, here’s a step back to some cool older work. If you ever want to see the final art for this sketch, follow the links and buy the friggin’ book! I only ever post about 15% of the art from any book project on social media so people who BUY my stuff get exclusive, original material. -Marsha