Hans and the Talking Bear


Hans discovered that he could speak                                                                   with a bear who turned up in his flat last week,                                            as once he got past his initial dread,                                                                     he understood all that he said.                                                                                They hit it right off, like lickety-split,                                                                   just laughing and joking and shootin’ the shit…                                             ’till the bear got hungry and ate his head                                                         and now poor Hans is dead.

***This is another illustration/poem that didn’t make the cut for our new book, ‘Bludgeon the Clown’.  It’s easy to see why the image didn’t make it (it’s not very good).  It was originally commissioned for a story in Analog Magazine back in 2008…but I had hoped the publisher would find a way to keep my amazing poem in the book.  Oh well, that’s out of my hands – and the whole thing is coming along splendidly.  -Marsha

Briny Brown

Briny Brown-81Briny Brown was a giant clown,                                                                       roughly the size of a tiny town.                                                                               We know this now ’cause he tripped and fell down…                            and flattened the place to the ground.

From the heiney of Briny,                                                                                              a clown quite tiny,                                                                                                             emerged, disheveled and slimy.                                                                                 As he staggered around, he said with a frown,                                                 “Holy crap!…I’m alive!!  Go’ blimey!!!”

***It’s tax day in America, the day on which none of us can evade complicity.  -Marsha

Potty Mouth

Potty Mouth-80 

Something in the smell wafting from the bathroom told me that things were going badly.  The crap being shouted was definitely not appropriate for television.  Negotiations had broken down and a strike was well underway.  Worse…the strikers were in open revolt,  flinging their sacred deposits all over the walls and ceiling.  The trust between us was broken.  Innocents were soiled, stained and who knew if the scars would ever heal…..but all that was secondary to the fact that…I really had to go.  I REALLY had to go — BAD!

Shamefully, in typical corporate fashion, I snuck out to the back yard, found a tree and used it like a primitive monkey.  Disgusting.  Yes, I found a cheap scab replacement to the striking toilet — but I just couldn’t hold out any longer…ugh!  I felt dirty.

I say, give the strikers whatever they demand before this gets any worse and we have a real shit storm on our hands…our shoes… our trousers…..

***Two weekends and two 3-day shows in a row, selling our beautiful clown books and hawking amazing (and tasteful) ‘Poop’ stickers…..boy oh boy, this is the life.  If I knew this was going to be so good I’d have quit my old career 10 years ago.  John wholeheartedly concurs.  But, Now we have a clean stretch of uninterrupted time to finish “Bludgeon the Clown”, hopefully in early May so we can resume our show schedule.  -Marsha



Roger-79 copy***No clever poetry this week and no flash fiction, just an old sketch originally done (by John) for Analog Magazine back in January ’04.  It seems to be the perfect image to illustrate the incredibly mediocre NJ Horror Con and Film Festival we worked last weekend.  NEXT weekend we’ll be sharing a table at the Great Philadelphia Comic Con in Oaks PA. with our good friend Richard Laslo, the Cel King.  After that, there will be no shows until our new book, “Bludgeon the Clown”, is done and published.  We’re still shooting for the first week in May for our release…but it will just have to take whatever time it takes.  -Marsha