Monthly Archives: May 2020

Book Exerpt, Clowns

Godiva

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GODIVA  (book excerpt, page 64)

Saggy Bottom, West Virginia.  The most important thing about this image of Godiva the Clown is that she is not just your average tattooed chick on a raging purple horse…..what you see is all Godiva, horse and all.  I was already impressed with her before I realized… well, just how dynamic her lady parts were.  But WOW!!!

Back in the day, between the oil wars and the water wars – before crazy fascists started hunting clowns and anarchists and Indians (again) for their skins – it was hard to go half a block without running across another painted, naked wench on a hybrid psychedelic farm animal.  It was high fashion for a while.  It was even worse out west with winged warthogs and angry caterpillar chicks trophy hunting for penis.  Aaaahh…..can’t wait ’till those were the good old days.

***The image above is the original red rough sketch for the illustration on page 65 of “Bludgeon the Clown.”  I have never posted the final image.  If you want to see it, you’ll have to buy the book.  I reserve the BEST art for paying customers.  Find it and buy it at www.sallemander.com or search EEWbooks at etsy.com.   -Marsha  

Clowns

Bludgeon the Clown

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 BLUDGEON THE CLOWN

***These are the original rough sketches for the cover of our 3rd book, “Bludgeon the Clown,” a fully illustrated graphic field guide exposing the grizzly details of our current worldwide clown conspiracy. The material in this book could irrevocably alter life as we know it (for the better), unless we’re really careful.  Written by Marsha Mellow (with over 100 illustrations by John Allemand), it is 100 pages of candy-coated, yummy, clown-infected goodness (with nuts).  Find it and buy it at www.sallemander.com or search EEWbooks at etsy.com.   -Marsha

 

 

Book Exerpt

Pills

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Dragon Man Dan had a lot of nice pills.                                                        Some made him better and stronger.                                                                One for his asthma, one for his heart,                                                                one made his pecker longer.                                                                                    But all of those pills, for all their delight,                                                      killed him, as you might expect,                                                                      though they kept his body preserved for years                                            and left his penis erect.

***I’ve never posted this rough sketch before and refuse to post the final art.  If you want to see it, you’ll have to buy the book, “Marsha Mellow’s Blue-ish Freaks.”  Find it (along with my other 3 books) at www.sallemander.com.   -Marsha

Book Exerpt, Flash Fiction, Sci-Fi

Tick Tick Tick

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The room was not large, just a conference room in the library where ten of us sat around a table writing.  It was a typical Saturday morning writing workshop and the prompt was: ‘the lyrics to the Star Wars theme.’  The music rattled around my brain easily enough but for some reason I couldn’t recall it ever having lyrics.  I swear it NEVER did…did it?  I was frustrated.  I drew a blank while everyone else was scribbling away…and the music in my head became louder, incessant…persistent…..maddening!

It suddenly stopped when a new sound caught my attention.  It was coming from Keith at the other end of the table.  There was a tick, tick, ticking that quickly replaced my obsession – in perfect rhythm and beat – to those lyrics, whatever they were…tick, tick, ticka, ticka-ticka, tick, tick.  I was tapping my toe on the carpet now…ticka-ticka, tick, tick.  Louder and louder it got, tick, ticka, tick…Keith was writing intensely.  Tick, tick-ticka.  How could he not hear it?  Tick-tick, ticka-tick.   Was I the only one?  Ticka-tick-ticka, tick.  Was that smoke coming out of his ears?  Tick-tick.  Coooool!  Ticka-tick-ticka.  The ticking got faster as bright beams of light began to emerge from his skull.  Tick-ticka-ticka-ticka-tick.  It filled the room…blinding me…..ticka-ticka-ticka…BANG!!!!!

Like a mouse in a microwave, the walls, floor and ceiling were suddenly pasted with Keith juice and bits of sticky flesh and bone.

Still, nobody seemed to notice.  Everyone just kept on writing even as a slippery chunk of bowel slid down Carl’s face and a bloody ear clung to the end of Joe’s pencil.  Keith’s head and chest were gone and his fluids were squirting Susan’s cheek…but he kept on writing as well.  Susan paused to open an umbrella and brush gore off her laptop, unmoved.

Everything was quiet for a few minutes as pens scribbled on wet paper and blood dribbled and pooled in my under shorts….then the ticking started again…but this time it sounded like it was coming from Nancy…..tick, tick, tick…coooool!

***This full color illustration was originally published as the cover for Analog Magazine’s Jan/Feb 2012 issue.  It is featured now in our 4th book, “A Short Burst”.  The story is based on true events that go on from 10am to 12pm every Saturday morning at the Montclair, NJ Library.  All are welcome to write…to tick…and eventually explode.  Buy our books at www.sallemander.com.   -Marsha