We stood at the intersection looking down at my body, hit by a bus. How ridiculous! After all the times I stopped people on their phone gadgets from walking into traffic…and now this? I must have been daydreaming. What an idiot!
Cars were still swishing through the scene while a small crowd of cynical bystanders gathered to make snarky comments in hushed voices. The police arrived to push the crowd away and redirect traffic. One of them walked right through me…ugh! Weird!! I shuddered. My companion grinned.
I felt regret. It was a good body. I’d kept it fit and healthy, not too bad looking either, but now it was mangled and broken. There were scattered bits of gristle and a thick dark liquid splashed across the asphalt. One of my eyes hung down my cheek by a thread and my skull was split wide open like a busted watermelon. Hmmm, I always wondered what my own brains looked like. Eeeeeew!!!
My companion stepped over to me with a ‘we should go soon’ nudge. I must say, for a scythe wielding hippie weirdo in a medieval bathrobe, he seemed like a decent chap. He was kind enough to give me time to adjust. Finally, with a friendly clap on the shoulder he hissed, “Come along, son. You can’t take it with you.” We turned away and began walking off into the ether.
“Hey Grim!” I said, “You think I’ll come back as a sea slug or a tapeworm? I hope not…maybe I could be a hockey puck! Yeah! That’s where all the action is…” He shook his head and rolled his eye sockets. “Hey, can you introduce me to Jesus? No…ELVIS!!! Yeaaaah!”
***This combination of spot-image and story is featured on page 6 of our new book, “A Short Burst.” It is flash science fiction, which makes it very short and intense for people who have very little time, and is quite satisfying. It will be available to buy very soon at www.sallemander.com. Meanwhile, feel free to check out our first 3 books: www.sallemander.com. -Marsha
The disarmament was epic. Everyone embraced the idea…until it was over. Then there was no way to…embrace. The last ones needed to be pretty clever to get it done, but by then, starvation and disease was already setting in. People really hadn’t thought it through. It was bad enough that they could no longer feed themselves or drive…or text, but reality finally dawned when they started to defecate in their trousers. They certainly couldn’t embrace anything, or each other, without arms. And all those millions of disembodied arms lying about, decomposing in piles everywhere, led to all sorts of nasty airborne and waterborne illness. What a disaster!
When the aliens landed to study our dead culture a few years later, the sheer stupidity of it shocked them into insanity. They evacuated immediately, nuked the Earth from space, and made sure to purge it’s existence from galactic memory, lest it infect others. And all who came into contact were euthanized for safety.
***This is a new story with a new image for our new book, “A Short Burst.” I should have advance copies to sell soon, meanwhile, you can find my first 3 books at www.sallemander.com or search EEWbooks at etsy.com. -Marsha
The atmosphere in the ballroom went positively rancid the moment I walked in. People stopped dancing mid-step. The band struck a sour chord and shambled into silence. Drinks spilled. A waiter dropped a tray of dishes with a loud, lingering clatter. A woman fainted, hitting the floor with a dull thud.
Everyone in the place turned to look at me as if I had two heads. Something was ‘off’ about these people; I just couldn’t put my finger on it.
The groom, looking quite put out, detached himself from his bride and strolled elegantly toward me, the tails of his tuxedo brushing the onlookers as they parted to let him through. He handed me a scrap of paper with the neatly written words: “There must be some mistake” and gestured to a banner over the dais which read: “Congratulations to Headless Charlie and Sue the Body!”
That’s when I realized that it wasn’t my two heads that disturbed them…it was that I was the only freak in the room who had any head at all.
***Our new book – our 4th book – is nearly done. It is literally being printed now. The title is, “A Short Burst” a collection of flash science fiction. This story and image come from page 12. Most of what you find in this blog is a light dusting of what you’ll find in our books. Follow the links above to www.sallemander.com to buy them. -Marsha
Bladder the Clown had really bad aim, though he did his best to foil it, the bottle of booze he guzzled each day would give him the shakes and spoil it. He tried once or twice to widen his stance and hold his dick really tight, but doused his shoes and sprinkled his pants and still couldn’t hit the toilet.
***We’re breaking all the rules this week by posting a political one. Yeah! This one’s political, specially picked for early July. What…you don’t get it? That’s okay, its a tricky one. Leave me an angry comment if you get it. I hope you didn’t blow your friggin’ hands off playing with fireworks. This is an image and poem that didn’t make it into “Bludgeon the Clown”…so this is probably the last time you’ll ever see it. Farewell Bladder. -Marsha
Tommy the Clown got sliced in half, to expose his charm and wit but all I could see as he came apart was maggoty chunks of shit.
***A page from “Marsha Mellow’s Blue-ish Freaks”, the finest example of clown literature ever published in America. -Marsha