***We made a bunch of special Black and white prints for some customers at the comic cons this year…they turned out so well we sold-out of a few of them. This is one of John’s favorites. We posted other versions of it – with flash-fiction stories and poetry – previously, but this time it’s just the image…and it is enough. -Marsha
His dreams were frantic. She was always just-out-of-reach and each time he caught a glimpse, she was further away than before as he chased her through the labyrinth of his anxiety. He KNEW he was only dreaming… he KNEW she lay right next to him, asleep…but he could neither escape any more than catch up to her. And as his heart broke apart and crumbled to pieces for the one he had loved unconditionally, he realized that these pathetic dreams were better than his reality. This was all he had left, so he relished in the chase each night…..for just one more night…and tried to remember all the good things they’d had for a few precious moments more…before she faded completely, leaving him alone in the labyrinth.
***Our poor friend Balthazar lost his cat recently…well, she’s not missing – we’re not out searching or anything – I mean, he had a falling out with his precious Miss Fuzzy Britches a few weeks ago and hasn’t been able to patch things up. I wrote this little piece for them…though I don’t hold out much hope. This image was originally published in Analog Magazine, then revised and published again in two books including my latest, “A Short Burst” with a version of this short Flash-Fiction story. Meanwhile, Our new book is nearly out. Its beautiful and awful and will be available to buy soon. -Marsha
“Constant gravy!!…or did he say constant craving!?” but everyone was already writing and the professor’s response was garbled…sure, okay, constant gravy seemed right. I was feeling pretty woozy since I cut myself shaving earlier and couldn’t make it stop bleeding. It just gushed, thick and goopy…yeah, constant gravy…coool!
What began as a simple nick under my nose, got worse a few minutes later when blood started running down my cheek. An hour later, it was dripping copiously. In two hours it was a steady flow and by lunchtime I was squirting all over the place, soaking my clothes, the furniture and painting the walls. It was impossible to concentrate as the room kept spinning faster and faster…..
I must have spaced out for a while because when I woke, the stuff leaking out was no longer red. Thankfully it was just cheese wizz leaking from the push nozzle on my head. What?!…don’t you have a nozzle?…and what’s so weird about that? Best of all, the harder I pumped the thicker it flowed…aaaaah, pretty…..
I must have spaced out for a while…..what was I saying?…
***This really happened. Its lucky that John got a good sketch of this guy at the writing workshop before things went sideways. This post is a shortened version of the story…but we didn’t want to give away all the best parts before we publish it in our BODY-ODDIES book. -Marsha
The Clowns rose up in anger one day deciding enough was enough. They poured out into the streets en masse, yelling and juggling stuff.
They wanted ‘equal rights’, they said, to be ‘taken seriously’. An end to random giggles and leers. They wanted respect, you see.
Snarling traffic with mini Clown cars, squirtling flowers and ties, their strike turned into a riot (of sorts) pelting police with pies.
They overwhelmed the barricades, storming the walls and ditches and made their way up to capital hill, leaving the cops in stitches.
But as they breached the chamber doors, their smiles turned into frowns, for the senate was already occupied by Idiots, Mimes and Clowns.
I wrote this piece (and John illustrated it) almost two decades ago. I thought, for sure, things MUST have changed for the better by now…but no. Anyway, it finally got published in our third book, “Bludgeon the Clown,” which you can find (and buy) following the www.sallemander.com to our Etsy shop (link at the top), or by going to www.etsy.com, search EEWbooks. -Marsha
***It’s not as much of a “Welcome to 2021!” as it is a “Farewell to 2020.” Happy new year! -Marsha
***Our latest book, “A Short Burst” is 100 pages with 73 short, flash-fiction sci-fi stories and 64 illustrations, most of the art originally published in Analog and Asimov’s Sci-Fi Magazines. It is our 4th book and the best one yet. It makes an excellent holiday gift, even if they don’t like sci-fi. Find it at our Etsy shop at www.etsy.com and search; EEWbooks. -Marsha
When she fell, face first, with and grunt and a thudd,
the state of her health was precarious,
but staggering up, encrusted with mud…
the look on her face was hilarious!
***This will be in our next book, “Body-Oddies” (which will be done soon), although it may end up being a completely different version – both the rhyme and the image. This is one of my favorites. I can’t count the number of times I’ve resembled this. Find and buy all our books and stuff at our Etsy shop, search EEWbooks. Thanks! -Marsha
My Best Foot Backwards
I call my left foot Lefty. I’ve always called him Lefty. There’s never been any argument from him and he gets no complaints. We get along just fine, but the other foot, well…it’s like apples and oranges.
My other foot calls himself “Backwards.” I named him Louis but he won’t answer to that. That one is constant trouble! Sure, he has better balance and coordination, heck!…if not for him I’d fall flat on my face. Let’s not even mention my dancing! But Backwards, even as my best foot, is a hand-full (so to speak). He likes randomly kicking things, splashing in mud puddles and somehow, always smells of doggy doo. And “BACKWARDS?”…I don’t even get it. Why call himself Backwards?!?
Now, my other-OTHER foot, my right foot…that bastard! He decided to call himself Backwards TOO!!! What the hell!?! I think that one goes out of his way JUST to piss me off (I can hear him giggling now).
Honestly though, my feet aren’t even the worst of my problems right now…try keeping three wayward hands in check when you’re trying to conquer the world…
***This flash-fiction story and illustration was recently published in our newest book, “A Short Burst.” A rougher version of the image was originally commissioned for the March, 2009 issue of Analog Magazine. Find and buy all our books at our Etsy shop, search EEWbooks. -Marsha
***Chipper, here, is a cropped portion of an illustration from our new book, “Body-Oddies.” The publisher won’t let us reveal more than this yet, even though the book is nearly done, which is really silly since nobody will remember the image by the time the pandemic eases up and sales resume. Anyway, John named him chipper because (he says) skeletons always look like they’re grinning at something funny…which is stupid, of course! They’re obviously happy they’re dead because they no longer have to suffer the pain and disappointment of living…or whatever… -Marsha
***At this point, about 6 months into the Covid 19 pandemic, America leads the world in petty, childish, stupidity. With 4% of the world’s population, we have 25% of known cases and deaths (MAGA!!!). The governors of 40 out of 50 states are seeing record high spikes in cases – more than 50,000 a day and rising. They are failing to heed the instructions of medical and science experts as well as follow the success of northeastern states and numerous countries already suppressing the plague. Instead, governors play politics and take their direction from the corporate ruling class.
Meanwhile, the entire federal government has been criminally useless. With no clear leadership from region to region, whole swathes of our population don’t “believe” there is a pandemic, despite almost 3 million cases and over 130,000 dead (Praise Jesus!!!), or that by wearing a simple mask and social distancing we could bring it under control. Having funneled upwards of 4 trillion dollars of aid to the richest corporations, the feds have left the rest of us to fend for ourselves. America is the greatest corporate oligarchy in the universe! …but just wait ’till global warming kicks into full stride. We live in interesting times. -Marsha