Category Archives: body-oddies

body-oddies

Game Face…Face Plant

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“Game Face“

Go sports!  Go sports!

   Rah–rah–rah!

Kick the bishop in the shorts,

   sis–boom–bah!

“Face Plant”

When she fell, face first, with a grunt and a thudd,

   the state of her health was precarious,

but staggering up, encrusted with mud,

   the look on her face was hilarious.

***Yeah, there’s a silly rhyme for BOTH of these pages…thankfully for you, we left them out of the book. I think John is the only freakish weirdo in America who still likes poetry. You’re welcome! If you want to buy the book, hit the ETSY link above or go to etsy.com and search EEWbooks. -Marsha

body-oddies

Chicken Fingers

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Chicken Fingers

Fingers are fingers

   and thumbs are fingers,

   but not every finger’s a thumb.

The same thing goes for chickens, they say

   (but the ones who say it are dumb!).

***John loves this poem…..now you know why the publisher cut all the poetry from the new book, BODY-ODDIES. People hate that crap. The image, however, is one of MY favorites. Buy the book! Find it at www.sallemander.com or go directly to Etsy and search EEWbooks. -Marsha

body-oddies

Arm Candy…Sticky Fingers

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Sticky Fingers

Sid was covered in candy tattoos,

   they said he was mean and vicious,

but after he died…and hardened up,

   He tasted sweet and delicious.

***There’s no rhymed ditty for Arm Candy. The publisher would have cut it from the new book, BODY-ODDIES, anyway, just like Sticky Fingers was. But don’t get me wrong, it was the right move. The publisher made a fantastic book, and as it is, John is the only freak who still likes poetry any more, anyway. Get the book. Go to www.sallemander.com or go directly to Etsy and search EEWbooks. -Marsha

body-oddies

Snake Eyes

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Snake Eyes

I might have been slightly distracted.

   Anyone could make a mistake.

How could I miss a thing like that?!

   I just didn’t notice the snake.

How did this happen?  How could this be?

   Was she born like that?  Can she see?

I don’t know man.  I’m pretty freaked out.

   How much more can I take?

***This image appears in the new book, “BODY-ODDIES,” in it’s original blue hue. We did this B/W version as a special order print for a comic con customer. We’re not sure which one we like better! The rhyme was written for the book…but was cut by the publisher because they hate poetry (like most people). You can find BODY-ODDIES, as well as all our other books, at www.sallemander.com or go directly to Etsy and search EEWbooks. -Marsha

body-oddies

Face Page

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***This is a B/W version of the inside cover art for the new book, “BODY-ODDIES” which just came out. The original art is done in green and looks perfectly cool…but a dude at a recent comic-con asked for a B/W print of it and when I made it, I realized how cool some of the other illustrations would work in B/W too. So I made a set of 10 images to try out at the next few shows. You can find BODY-ODDIES and all my other books at www.sallemander.com or go directly to Etsy and search EEWbooks. -Marsha

body-oddies, Freaks, Sci-Fi

BODY-ODDIES

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“Body-Oddies” is an art book of body idioms.  A tongue-in-cheek interpretation of commonly used body expressions taken waaay out of context.  Designed to inspire outside-the-box thinking, it will make you feel clever while you laugh out loud.  It is 100 pages with over 100 illustrations, 9×12 inches in size with stiff, perfect bound cover. Price: $30.00

Find it in our Etsy shop. Go to Etsy.com and search EEWbooks or Body-Oddies.

body-oddies

Baby Sitter

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At first we thought all the babies blew up.                                                   

We found them that way in the morning.                                             

They’d suddenly grown to enormous size!                                                  

We had no idea…no warning.

Well, people freaked out.  They lost their minds,                                   

(and some of us got really drunk),                                                                   

 but didn’t take TOO long to understand,                                                    

that THEY didn’t grow…..WE SHRUNK!!!

***I’m hoping this will be the last rough sketch image we post from the new ‘Body-Oddies’ book before it comes out. Still, it’s a good one with a good rhymed ditty to go with it (even though the rhymed ditties didn’t make it into the book). -Marsha

body-oddies, Freaks, Sci-Fi

Handyman

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     Darryl woke up with that feeling again – impossible to describe but all too familiar at this point. He kept his eyes closed for a while longer, savoring the dream he was having about his old, normal life…before all the changes…before every morning became a horror show, wondering if he would find another growth.

He did his best to soothe his anxiety, tried to make lemonade out of the lemons that seemed to be smothering him.  After all, how could yet another, extra hand possibly be all that bad for a skilled craftsman who worked with his hands?  Each one seemed to have all his talent and strength.  His productivity tripled, he was making money hand-over-fist (no pun intended) and for the first time in his life, people found him kinda interesting…..

But…waking up every few days with another fully formed hand growing out of some empty patch of his flesh was really starting to effect his sanity.

***This was a tough image to pull out of John’s thick head but with an iron skillet and a power drill I finally managed it (long story) and it lead to a new book project called “Body-Oddies” which is finally done and off to the printer.  -Marsha