***We made a bunch of special Black and white prints for some customers at the comic cons this year…they turned out so well we sold-out of a few of them. This is one of John’s favorites. We posted other versions of it – with flash-fiction stories and poetry – previously, but this time it’s just the image…and it is enough. -Marsha
My sister said I had smelly toes.
What did she mean by that?
Did SHE smell them…or did THEY have a nose?
Oh never mind, she’s a brat!
***This image was close, but not quite the version we’re using in the “Body-Oddies” book. And so far, we’re not using any of the written shorts and rhymes. It’s okay, people don’t read much any more anyway. We’re still waiting for a release date from the publisher…we’ll keep you posted. -Marsha
Ralphy lost track of his ass and his head
one day, without even knowing.
But found ‘em again, only switched instead,
so now he’s both coming and going.
***Another one that isn’t the version we used in the “Body-Oddies” book. Not sure if we’re using the rhyme either, so ENJOY!!! -Marsha
Chili is good ’cause it holds no surprises,
on this we can all depend;
That it looks and feels the same going in
as it does coming out in the end.
***February 31st is my 114th birthday!!!…so naturally I feel compelled to show you my balls.
Mike was a two-faced liar…no, ‘liar’ was his last NAME.
He only had two faces, ’cause that was the way he came.
He also had seventeen toes, and a nine inch tail, which was flat,
and five short pricks that fit like a glove, but nobody cared about that!
Everyone hated a two-faced liar. They called it a curse and a sin,
but once he became the president, he actually fit right in.
Business was going downhill fast
for a middle-aged clown named Skipper.
Until he applied at the local church,
who gave him a job as a stripper.
Now he has work almost every night,
’till well past three or four.
The fellas are sweet and tip really well,
but his ass is constantly sore.
NOTE: WordPress has found a way to prohibit me and other poets from posting my 8 line poem in the format I’ve used here for the last six-plus years. It will only post as a paragraph. They probably removed the feature so they can monetize it…’cause poets are sooooo rich. Well, FUCK you WordPress! Fuck your WordPress algorithm too! I hope you both die in a fiery fuckin’ plane crash! I’m tired of greedy incompetent fuckwads fuckin’ up basic shit.
***Tuesday is John’s 114th happy birthday! Write him a fuckin’ Happy Birthday message!!! But whatever you do, don’t tell facebook that February 9th is NOT his real birthday. It’s actually Feb. 31st…there’s just a problem with their stupid algorithm! (It has no sense of humor), but that’s what you get when you’re ruled by robots. We’re all doomed…have a nice day. -Marsha
Tommy the Clown got sliced in half, to expose his charm and wit, but all I could see as he came apart was maggoty chunks of shit.
***A page from “Marsha Mellow’s Blue-ish Freaks”, the finest example of clown literature ever published in America. -Marsha
We can carry him ’round. We can make him look silly, dress him up nice in girly-girl frilly.
We can poke out his eyes. We can cut off his nose, twist-off and break all his fingers and toes.
Now that he’s dead we can draw on his skin, give him a Clown face – a big stupid grin.
We can hang him outside for the vultures and beetles, shave his whole head and poke it with needles.
We can stuff him or shred him or chop him in chunks, then cook him and feed him to hobos and drunks.
Now that he’s dead, he’s starting to rot. Should we bury him now…or not?
But where is the joy? Where’s all the whimsy? There’s plenty to do while the corpse is still flimsy.
And when he goes stiff and gives off a smell, we’ll set him on fire and send him to hell.
He can’t hurt us now. It’s over and done, so now that he’s dead…..let’s have FUN!!
***This poem and image comprise the title page for ‘Chapter 6: Death,’ in our third book, “Bludgeon the Clown” which you can find by following the link above to www.sallemander.com., or go right to Etsy and search EEWbooks. -Marsha
***Aristocrat is part of an illustration featured in our “Bludgeon the Clown” book. It’s always a good one at election time…most people don’t get it. Find our shop on Etsy (search EEWbooks). Buy our books. There are four illustrated books now, with a new one coming out soon. -Marsha