Category Archives: Political

Book Exerpt, Clowns, Freaks, Political

U.S.A.

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Democrat?  Republican?  Who can fuckin’ tell?                                          Red state, Blue state?  Die and go to Hell!                                                    Argue ’bout it all you want, knock each other out.                                 ‘Right-Left’ bullshit ain’t what its about.

***This is such an easy re-post! This image is an excellent metaphor for a criminally inactive American government in the fatal, final decline of late-stage capitalism (yes, both parties and all three branches). A police state, during a global pandemic and environmental disaster, a corporate oligarchy with unchecked greed, graft and stupidity rotting away the core of the richest empire on Earth, with the most gigantic army…history shows us the fate of nations that become so weak.

This image was first published in 2015, in our first book, “Marsha Mellow’s Blue-ish Freaks.” You can find our first four books (and BUY them) by following the links to our Etsy shop, or go to etsy.com and search EEWbooks. -Marsha

Book Exerpt, Lucifer, Political

Covid 19

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***At this point, about 6 months into the Covid 19 pandemic, America leads the world in petty, childish, stupidity. With 4% of the world’s population, we have 25% of known cases and deaths (MAGA!!!). The governors of 40 out of 50 states are seeing record high spikes in cases – more than 50,000 a day and rising. They are failing to heed the instructions of medical and science experts as well as follow the success of northeastern states and numerous countries already suppressing the plague. Instead, governors play politics and take their direction from the corporate ruling class.

Meanwhile, the entire federal government has been criminally useless. With no clear leadership from region to region, whole swathes of our population don’t “believe” there is a pandemic, despite almost 3 million cases and over 130,000 dead (Praise Jesus!!!), or that by wearing a simple mask and social distancing we could bring it under control. Having funneled upwards of 4 trillion dollars of aid to the richest corporations, the feds have left the rest of us to fend for ourselves. America is the greatest corporate oligarchy in the universe! …but just wait ’till global warming kicks into full stride. We live in interesting times. -Marsha

Book Exerpt, Clowns, Political

Uncle Sammy the Clown

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Sammy the Clown thought he could fly                                                              so he threw himself  off the roof                                                                           and flapped his arms for eighty-nine floors                                                 ‘fore he realized his tragic goof.

***Okay, this one’s political.  Yeah, it’s a keen example of the ‘rough sketch to final art process’ thing, but I posted it to show how thoroughly fucked America is as coronavirus spreads.  Even if Uncle Sammy here is only an inch or two off the ground, that fall is gonna hurt.  People here, by the millions, regardless of their politics or intelligence, are running out of money and food…and they WILL break quarantine.  The U.S. government is NOT helping!!!  This is a page from our 1st book, ‘Marsha Mellow’s Blue-ish Freaks’.  You can find all our books at;  www.sallemander.com   -Marsha

Clowns, Political

Loose Head Fred

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This is an image from our 3rd book, “Bludgeon the Clown,” There’s no silly story blurb or rhymed ditty to go with it.  Not every idea has, or needs, words.  It’s just a swell example of how John’s sketch and design process looks.  Most images take several scribbly thumbnails to come to a viable rough.  This one took one…THIS one.  John got lucky.  Whatever you do, please don’t  – in this tragic time of plague – please don’t mistake it as a political statement.  It is not intended to show what sometimes happens to a government when they bail out the rich, ruling class  and abandon the common and poor in a time of crisis…..it’s just a funny clown illustration.  Find and buy all of our extraordinary books at www.sallemander.com.   -Marsha   

Clowns, Freaks, Political

Bladder the Clown

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Bladder the Clown had really bad aim,                                                              though he did his best to foil it,                                                                              the bottle of booze he guzzled each day                                                            would give him the shakes and spoil it.                                                            He tried once or twice                                                                                                  to widen his stance                                                                                                       and hold his dick really tight,                                                                                    but doused his shoes                                                                                                      and sprinkled his pants                                                                                                    and still couldn’t hit the toilet.

***We’re breaking all the rules this week by posting a political one.  Yeah!  This one’s political, specially picked for early July.  What…you don’t get it?  That’s okay, its a tricky one.  Leave me an angry comment if you get it.  I hope you didn’t blow your friggin’ hands off playing with fireworks.  This is an image and poem that didn’t make it into “Bludgeon the Clown”…so this is probably the last time you’ll ever see it.  Farewell Bladder.  -Marsha

Book Exerpt, Clowns, Flash Fiction, Political

Winter Weather Advisory

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thesanta-64It was June and sunny.  The first sunny day he’d seen in months.  Standing atop a 60 foot snow drift, Santa surveyed the landscape of Death Valley, Nevada. This was no way to spend his vacation.  Where were the buzzards and the fire ants?  Where were the salt flats and sand dunes?  This place looked too much like home this year…how awful!

Well, what did he expect?  This is where things like consumerism, waste, greed and stupidity get you – and he had to admit, he played his part.  Ever since they hired him to sell capitalism to the huddled masses, back in the 30’s and 40’s…..a snowpocalypse was inevitable.  Mother Nature swings like a sassy pendulum, knocking the idiots aside with the good ones.  Maybe the random survivors will come through smarter and better this time…but he doubted it.  Oh well, he still had to find sunscreen for Mrs. Clause or she’d have his head.

He got back into his sleigh and flew off in search of a frozen supermarket, hoping the looters left some Twinkies…or some milk duds…

THE SANTA: Arguably the greatest Christian icon in history, he is also the hardest fellow to meet.  When I flew to the North Pole for an interview I found nothing there but a giant peppermint flavored pole…and simply planning to intercept his holiday flight got me an angry visit from Homeland Security (again). Frankly, I couldn’t confirm he existed at all (I was crushed).  Yet somehow, he still manages to deliver the most fabulous gifts, each year, to the most affluent and entitled children in the world, (poor children are obviously “BAD”)…..maybe its just as well I didn’t meet this clown.  -Marsha

Clowns, Political

Uncle Sammy the Clown

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Sammy-the-Clown-image-32

Sammy the Clown thought he could fly                                                              so he threw himself  off the roof                                                                           and flapped his arms for eighty-nine floors                                                 ‘fore he realized his tragic goof.

***Even if Uncle Sammy here is only an inch or two off the ground it will still be a painful, messy landing.  There isn’t much more to say about American politics today…except that we do real Clowns a disservice by associating them with politicians.  It taints their integrity.  This is a page from our book, ‘Marsha Mellow’s Blue-ish Freaks’.  You can find all our books at;  www.sallemander.com   -Marsha

Flash Fiction, Political

Making Speech

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making-speech-54      Oh no!  What are they doing?  Are they going to talk now or…?   Oh god!  They’re about to make…..”SPEECH!”  Oh, eeeeeew, its all over the podium, it even smells like speech.

Every time these political types get up in front of people, they speech and they speech and they speech, incessantly.  Its the worst, the nastiest – sloppiest speech you ever heard.  Like a big steaming pile of drunken speech stumbling about, speeching its filth everywhere.

Oh well, I guess its a sign of the times…but just look at the crowd gathering, its sickening – and they love it.  Ooooh, now they’re spraying the stage with raw speech, projecting hot, sleazy speech all over everybody…..as they bath in it with relish.  Oh, the humanity!  And no matter how I try to avoid it, I end up covered in it too.  It spatters my shoes, my clothes and gushes painfully from my ears.

I thought it might be different this time around.  I thought we all might have a good healthy discussion like civilized people…..but all we got is more “speech”.

***Was that another clusterfuck debate?  Is there ANY intelligent person willing to vote for one of those assholes?  My god…we are soooooo screwed…..  Meanwhile, this image is from our wonderful coloring book, which you can buy on our EEWbooks Etsy store/site, OR just use the link above to: www.sallemander.com   -Marsha

Flash Fiction, Political

Faith, in Brand Name Products

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The worms had invested several generations in this project.  They were steadfast and intrepid.  It took months to meticulously scour every inch of the box to find flaws in the smooth laminate – the tiniest gaps in the seal – then year upon year of boring , rotting and tunneling through hard woods and glues.  They had never met Faith…had no idea what kind of person she was, but from the quality of her box, they trusted that she had taste…was tasteful.  (Tasty?)

The worms celebrated their first breakthrough as a holiday.  It was a momentous achievement.  A pauper’s box was easy to tap but was quickly overrun by poachers, a rich person’s box, though a major endeavor, was a rich prize.  The worms took time to reflect and remember their forebears who began this campaign with such hope and ambition.  It was good to be a worm and sure to get better…

…But, when they finally breached Faith’s inner cavern, they were appalled at the stench.  It wasn’t the tasteful (rotten) odor of a well fed, well groomed lady, whose conquest would fill their bellies as much as their pride, it was the vile reek of toxins…death to worms.  They found Faith, in brand name products.

She was slathered in chemical cosmetics, pumped full of formaldehyde, lead and mercury and her flesh, saturated with food additives and preservatives.  She had fake hair, fake nails, fake boobs, lips and joints.  She looked as perfectly pickled now as the day she was buried…but for the worms, Faith was completely inedible.  Disconsolate and defeated, they turned away wondering what the modern world was coming to.

***Some would qualify Faith, with all her enhancements, as a “cyborg” (how exciting!).  However, the products which enhanced her beauty also shortened her life.  Oh, but never mind that!  I’m sure she’s been looking up at her corpse this past decade, quite proud of its everlasting glamour.  As to the worms, I’m afraid there isn’t much hope.  Perseverance and integrity don’t count for much any more.  Meanwhile, today’s graveyards are tomorrow’s superfund sites.  This image is published in our new book, “Bludgeon the Clown” as the ‘Chapter 6: Death’ page illo.  It was originally our 21st post from Feb., 2016.  Good luck Christmas shopping…try not to poison your children.  -Marsha  

 

Clowns, Freaks, Political

NAUGHTY!!!

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***Of course, we’ve been friends with Santa Clause since we were kids and got a great interview with him for our “Bludgeon the Clown” book (although the publisher cut it in the final edit).  Still, we were surprised when he showed up on Thanksgiving for a free meal (and this guy can really stack and pack it).  But he REALLY stunned us with a  whopping order of all 3 of our new books.  He mentioned (mumbled) something like “…can’t use COAL in naughty peoples stockings any more ’cause it’s TOXIC…so…..ho, ho, ho!”  Well, fantastic!  He loves it!  You should get one too.   -Marsha