Tag Archives: political

Book Exerpt, Flash Fiction, Sci-Fi

Can’t Take it With You

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We stood at the intersection looking down at my body, hit by a bus.  How ridiculous!  After all the times I stopped people on their hand-held gadgets from walking into traffic…and now this?  I must have been daydreaming.  What an idiot!

Cars were still swishing through the scene while a small crowd of cynical bystanders gathered to make snarky comments in hushed voices.  The police arrived to push the crowd away and redirect traffic.  One of them walked right through me…ugh!  Weird!!  I shuddered. My companion grinned.

I felt regret.  It was a good body.  I’d kept it fit and healthy, not too bad looking either, but now it was mangled and broken.  There were scattered bits of gristle and a thick dark liquid splashed across the asphalt.  One of my eyes hung down my cheek by a thread and my skull was split wide open like a busted watermelon.  Hmmm, I always wondered what my own brains looked like.  Eeeeeew!!!

My companion stepped over to me with a ‘we should go soon’ nudge.  I must say, for a scythe wielding hippie weirdo in a medieval bathrobe, he seemed like a decent chap.  He was kind enough to give me time to adjust.  Finally, with a friendly clap on the shoulder he hissed, “Come along, son.  You can’t take it with you.”  We turned away and began walking off into the ether.

“Hey Grim!” I said, “You think I’ll come back as a sea slug or a tapeworm?  I hope not…maybe I could be a hockey puck!  Yeah!  That’s where all the action is…”  He shook his head and rolled his eye sockets.  “Hey, can you introduce me to Jesus?  No…ELVIS!!! Yeaaaah!”

***This spot-image and story is featured on page 6 of our latest book, “A Short Burst.”  It is flash science fiction, which makes it very short and intense for people with very little time to read, and is quite satisfying. The image, however, is the rough sketch for an illustration in our next book, “Body-Oddies.”  Our first four books are available to buy at our Etsy shop. Follow the link at www.sallemander.com or search EEWbooks at www.etsy.com.   -Marsha 

Clowns, Freaks, Political

Two Faced

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Mike was a two-faced liar…no, ‘liar’ was his last NAME.

He only had two faces, ’cause that was the way he came.

He also had seventeen toes, and a nine inch tail, which was flat,

and five short pricks that fit like a glove, but nobody cared about that!

Everyone hated a two-faced liar. They called it a curse and a sin,

but once he became the president, he actually fit right in.

Book Exerpt, Clowns, Freaks, Political

Now That He’s Dead

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Now that he’s dead we can mess with his shit.                                             We can dance really loud. We can holler and spit.

We can carry him ’round. We can make him look silly,                     dress him up nice in girly-girl frilly.

We can poke out his eyes. We can cut off his nose,                              twist-off and break all his fingers and toes.

Now that he’s dead we can draw on his skin,                                              give him a Clown face – a big stupid grin.

We can hang him outside for the vultures and beetles,                          shave his whole head and poke it with needles.

We can stuff him or shred him or chop him in chunks,                          then cook him and feed him to hobos and drunks.

Now that he’s dead, he’s starting to rot.                                                   Should we bury him now…or not?

But where is the joy? Where’s all the whimsy?                                   There’s plenty to do while the corpse is still flimsy.

And when he goes stiff and gives off a smell,                                              we’ll set him on fire and send him to hell.

He can’t hurt us now. It’s over and done,                                                           so now that he’s dead…..let’s have FUN!!

***This poem and image comprise the title page for ‘Chapter 6: Death,’ in our third book, “Bludgeon the Clown” which you can find by following the link above to www.sallemander.com., or go right to Etsy and search EEWbooks.   -Marsha

Clowns, Freaks

POOP!

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A really bad poem is one without rhyme.

It sounds really awkward every single recitation.  (time) 

It’s meter and beat are uneven and base. 

Just rhyming won’t do it, it needs a good – bouncy rhythm and a spot-on, neeto keen…..pace. 

And don’t forget poets who make up new words, 

who clutter the page with “scruffulous’ turds.                                                

A really bad poem just might make you cry.                                                      

Not like…from “feelings!”  but a poke in the eye.                                           

Yeah, a really bad poem will poke out your eye,                                         

It will stomp on your toes and might make you…..screech like a howler monkey (cry).

But a really bad poem is funny sometimes                                                         

if you get past bad meter and horrible rhymes.                                              

A really bad poem might just be crap                                                                 

’cause the person who wrote it’s a horrible chap.                                      

You might just not care for their poetic shit                                                   

and feel like you just want to…..GAG.  (spit)    

***We have all the BEST poop (and the worst bad poems).  Our poop is so good it almost looks delicious (if you only knew what we had to eat to get it to look like that…) in Fact, all the shit we make with EEW Books is the best, locally produced and free of corporate influence.  Find our books and stuff at www.sallemander.com and at our Etsy shop, (search EEWbooks).   -Marsha   

Book Exerpt, Clowns, Freaks, Political

U.S.A.

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Democrat?  Republican?  Who can fuckin’ tell?                                          Red state, Blue state?  Die and go to Hell!                                                    Argue ’bout it all you want, knock each other out.                                 ‘Right-Left’ bullshit ain’t what its about.

***This is such an easy re-post! This image is an excellent metaphor for a criminally inactive American government in the fatal, final decline of late-stage capitalism (yes, both parties and all three branches). A police state, during a global pandemic and environmental disaster, a corporate oligarchy with unchecked greed, graft and stupidity rotting away the core of the richest empire on Earth, with the most gigantic army…history shows us the fate of nations that become so weak.

This image was first published in 2015, in our first book, “Marsha Mellow’s Blue-ish Freaks.” You can find our first four books (and BUY them) by following the links to our Etsy shop, or go to etsy.com and search EEWbooks. -Marsha

Clowns, Political

GIMME!

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***The editors at EEW Books got hold of a leaked CIA study, thoroughly analyzing the history of the Middle East since before WW1.  It was thinner than you’d expect (thick as a porter house steak), printed on bright yellow (saffron) paper in a succulent Helvetica Bold font, and absolutely stuffed (like tur-duck-en) full of big, juicy, important words…but it’s conclusion rendered down to one simple, tasty theme… which John has illustrated into a single cartoon image.  Bon appetit!  I’m off to lunch…I’m famished.  -Marsha