Tag Archives: graffiti

Boogey Man

February 10, 2020 Marsha Mellow Leave a comment

Boogey Man Dan was alive and well and couldn’t believe his good luck. Up until now he lived up my nose and was rather hopelessly stuck. Now he’s stuck to my finger, like a glob of cold runny eggs. At least he got out in one solid piece with all of his fingers and legs. But what to do now? Where should he go? His entire life lay ahead! …until I decided to knead him to bits and flick his corpse away…..dead.

***I’m travelling again and I’ve noticed that in every American airport there’s a special line for rich, rude, entitled people who pay loads of extra money so they can be first in line and feel important (I guess), even though we all get on the same plane, breathe the same air and arrive at the same time. THEY get to be first, at the front, like the petty popular kids in grammar school…and I just have to laugh at the silly people. The last time I was in Moab, Ut., there was one such dignified, aristocratic fellow who spent the entire trip to Philadelphia picking his nose, which inspired me to write this little ditty on the plane. -Marsha

body-oddies

Soft in the Head

February 3, 2020 Marsha Mellow Leave a comment

Marshmallow Fred is soft in the head. He’s soft in the head, like I said. I thought he’d be kinda addled and dull, but seems quite witty instead.

His head is as soft as a marshmallow. A marshmallow head – with jello! Squish it just so and PLIPP out an eye, like a whimsical marshmallow fellow.

***I don’t remember writing this drivel. I don’t remember anything about the whole week when this was done! Every time I mention it to John, the illustrator, he gets a funny look on his face, rolls his eyes, and shakes his head, refusing to talk about it…just pisses me right off. What the hell happened?!?!? Anyway, the publisher seems to like it – though she is a nasty drunk, so that might not count for much, but it’s all okay with me. -Marsha

body-oddies

Baby Sitter

January 27, 2020 Marsha Mellow Leave a comment

At first we thought all the babies blew up. We found them that way in the morning. They’d suddenly grown to enormous size! We had no idea…no warning.

Well, people freaked out. They lost their minds, (and some of us got really drunk), but didn’t take TOO long to understand, that THEY didn’t grow…..WE SHRUNK!!!

body-oddies, Flash Fiction

Body Piercing

January 20, 2020 Marsha Mellow Leave a comment

They called it ‘Body Piercing.’ It was very rare, very risky…for both the acrobat and the victim. Frisbee the Bouncer contemplated the origins of the maneuver he had just failed to properly execute. Willy the Clown (the victim) was finally settling down a bit, allowing Frisbee some time to think: you see, audiences had gotten bored with traditional tumbling and acrobatics, even parkour had lost it’s charm…free-runners traversing buildings, flipping and spinning across rooftops and bridge rafters, bouncing about from car to car in midtown traffic…I mean, it’s not as if everybody could do it nowadays, but people got bored seeing it all the time.

New ideas evolved to shock and awe the masses, each more extreme, risky…deadly. The ‘Tongue In Cheek’ was already banned in 17 states, the ‘Cockeyed Cock’ was responsible for 3 temporary deaths, 12 online divorces and 41 spontaneous abortions (in Tennessee alone)…then came ‘Body Piercing.’ It was like a grizzly car crash on the turnpike that you can’t help staring at. Frisbee recalled that the most difficult part was the need to make an entrance (not what you’re thinking). How does an acrobat bounce right through the center of an unsuspecting victim’s body (without using an existing entrance – or exit?). Well, Frisbee was quite certain he had it all figured out…but…..well, look at the picture!

Willy the Clown went quickly from surprise to horror, screaming bloody murder for 30 minutes straight…now he was just pissed off at Frisbee, who kept mumbling, “That should have worked!…Why didn’t that work?” over and over and over.

Somebody call an ambulance…!?!

***I wrote this piece last week, sitting out in my new back yard, atop the loveliest snowdrift in the midnight sun, watching the flying reindeer dogfight overhead. I’m so happy in my vacation house at the North Pole. The image is a raw, red, rough sketch for my “Body-Oddies” book. The publisher refuses to let us post any final artwork until the release date (tentatively May 1). Meanwhile you can find our first 4 books for sale by following the links to my website or at our Etsy shop (search EEWbooks). -Marsha

body-oddies, Flash Fiction

Potty Mouth

January 13, 2020 Marsha Mellow Leave a comment

Something in the smell wafting from the bathroom told me that things were going badly. The crap being shouted was definitely not appropriate for television. Negotiations had broken down and a strike was well underway. Worse, the strikers were in open revolt, flinging their sacred deposits all over the walls and ceiling. The trust between us was broken. Innocents were soiled, and who knew if the scars would ever heal, but all that was secondary to the fact that…I had to go. I REALLY had to go — BAD!

Shamefully, and in typical corporate fashion, I snuck out to the back yard, found a tree and used it like the primitive monkey I was. Disgusting. Yes, I’d found a cheap scab replacement to the striking toilet — but I just couldn’t hold out any longer…ugh! I felt dirty.

I say, give the strikers whatever they demand before this gets any worse and we have a REAL shit storm on our hands…our shoes… our trousers…..

***Another raw, rough-sketch teaser from our new book, “Body-Oddies”, which will be our 5th. John is finishing the illustrations and arrangement/design while I finish the writing (for a May release). After that, we’ll be off travelling around the country on tour, attending book fests, comic cons and sci-fi cons to peddle our wares like medieval hucksters, bringing literary joy to our impoverished country. Find us on Etsy.com by searching EEWbooks when you get there. -Marsha

body-oddies, Flash Fiction, fragment

I am Joe’s Big Left Toenail.

January 6, 2020 Marsha Mellow Leave a comment

I am Joe’s big left toe nail. See me soar through the air like a demented boomerang. I know not where I shall land but I’ll probably miss the trash bin because Joe’s ability to aim the stuff he spits out is for shit.

I guess Joe finally got tired of my glorious reign, as master of all I surveyed, at the tip of his big toe. I must have threatened his manhood (or ruined the tips of too many socks). He once tried to clip me with a fingernail trimmer but I valiantly resisted – and broke it! So he got pissed off, sat down on the toilet, and ripped me right off with his teeth.

I say, ‘Good riddance to Joe!’ I shall become king of all the gross stuff next to his overflowing trash can, as I can see that I am already the mightiest of all the toe nails there and shall rule for all eternity, since Joe is far too lazy to clean his friggin’ bathroom, which smells like the squeaky ass end of a dead rhinoceros on a hot, sunny day.

***We have the cult classic, “Fight Club” to thank for the inspiration for this flash-fiction fragment. It originated as a prompt in our Saturday ‘Free-Write’ workshop with the Montclair NJ Write Group. I pilfered the red rough “Finger Nails” sketch from our Body-Oddies book. It doesn’t exactly fit…but kinda does, in a really cool way (according to John, the illustrator). Body-Oddies will be our 5th book and will be out early this year (as soon as John finishes the friggin’ illustrations!!!). -Marsha

body-oddies, Flash Fiction

Open Mike

December 30, 2019 Marsha Mellow Leave a comment

Mike stood on stage in the spotlight…terrified. But, something about it seemed to be working for him. They probably found his trembling voice charming as he spoke sincerely about his life…his completely bizarre, absolutely strange, totally unlikely life…and the cynical way it came across. The crowd laughed at the tragic death of his wife in a mundane laundry incident. They howled at how the wind blew her ashes into everybody’s mouth at the funeral. And the five-day-old lasagna in a broken fridge, leading to a vivid conversation with Lucifer, left them in stitches. Every word he spoke, every glib anecdote, felt like a hole being ripped open in his soul, allowing his demons to spill out – only to be consumed and obliterated in the laughter of the audience…and when it was over, Mike stood open and bloody and spent and…..completely relieved. It was better than therapy, better than liquor or sex or CHOCOLATE. And he walked off stage to a standing ovation feeling light as a feather.

***We’ve posted this one before. It’s one of our favorites (well, the writing is good, the bloody mess that John, the illustrator did still makes me queasy), and is an excellent final post with which to end the year 2019. It was a great year for us at EEW Books. We got to do a lot of travelling, saw a lot of old friends and did more book shows than expected. We published our fourth book, “A Short Burst,” with our fifth book, “Body-Oddies,” close on it’s heels (to be published early in 2020). As always, find our stuff and buy it at www.sallemander.com or go to Etsy.com and search EEWbooks. -Marsha

body-oddies

Santa Claws

December 23, 2019 Marsha Mellow Leave a comment

Santa Claws ALWAYS loved children. He loved when they sat on his lap, and always invited his favorite to lunch with a snip and a snickety snap! He loved them with soup, loved them with rice and sautéed with wine was fun. He loved them roasted in gravy and yams or with mustard and cheese on a bun.

***Happy Christmas!!! I hope your silly capitalist buying frenzy went swell. When you’ve gotten your blood sugar back down and finished all your frivolous boxing and returns – and have some extra cash again – pop by our Etsy shop (go to etsy.com and search EEWbooks) for some gifts you’ll never WANT to return. -Marsha

body-oddies, Flash Fiction

Complicit in his Own Death

December 16, 2019 Marsha Mellow 1 Comment

Henry Higgenbottom had an amazing talent. Welllll, maybe not so amazing as, lets say, ‘quirky’. You see, Henry could “headstand”. Yeah, not so amazing…but since nobody else could ever do it quite like him, it kinda became his ‘thing’. And despite all practical advice. he ‘did’ the crap out of his ‘thing’. He became a minor local celebrity (oddity), got his fifteen minutes of fame on the T.V. news and bartered that into a stint on the state carnival circuit which propelled him into a pretty good gig with a circus sideshow troupe as a ‘Tumbling Contortionist’. All things considered, however, his convulsive hiccuping act usually stole the spotlight (and all the laughs) and made his ‘headstand’ gimmick look pretty dull. But Henry never gave up on it. It was his own unique gift to the world, a sacred piece of his very soul and he made sure it was part of every show he did…..until one day he accidentally mixed his hiccups with his ‘headstand’ and SO disrupted his specially balanced stance that he snapped his own ridiculous neck.

***Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE who has seen the image above seems to think it has some political meaning – perhaps implying the state of the nation or of the American voting public… Bollocks and drivel! It is no such thing. Read the post! Its nothing more than a tragic fragment of an ambitious loser. We don’t do politics in this blog!

Meanwhile, finish your holiday shopping with a trip to our Etsy shop (just go there and search EEWbooks)…OR you can follow the links to our website – which will bring you straight to our Etsy shop any way. -Marsha

body-oddies, Book Exerpt, Flash Fiction

Cockeyed

December 9, 2019 Marsha Mellow Leave a comment

Talking to a Cock

I guess I was a little drunk. I was definitely over stimulated. The boardwalk carnival at night was an intoxicating menagerie of sound and light, of beautiful bodies still in their skimpy beach-wear, smelling of sweat and suntan lotion, of sweet and salty junk food, deep-fried, slathered in cheese. I wandered like a leaf on the breeze, my bare feet barely touching the wood.

The hawkers, luring people into sideshow attractions, were on fire tonight. Business was booming at the Snake Boy house; patrons screamed in anguished pleasure. The Winged Pigs, The Dragon Lady and Six Jesters Conjoined had long, eager lines waiting. But the one which caught my eye was the only booth whose crier didn’t look like an ancient cigar-chomping sticky-pocketed circus clown with mirrored shoes. SHE was a sultry middle-aged woman with curves and lumps and hair and eyes that melted my…bones. It’s probably why I didn’t read the sign on the booth properly – or even care. I just handed her my money and walked in.

There on the podium, in the center of a dark room with red satin curtains, stood a raging red COCK!

NO…I mean, it was a red rooster with bright flaming plumage. The other people in the room sat on benches around the bird, enthralled. I stood for a long moment, puzzled and awkward…until the cock looked over at me and said, “Take a seat there, Sparky, I’m just getting started,” in a voice that sounded remarkably like Noam Chomsky.

You know…I may have misheard the writing prompt today…What? OH!!! “Talking to a Cop”…Yeah, I don’t talk to cops.

***The image is “Cockeyed,” a Body-Oddy for our next book, “Body-Oddies.” The story was recently published on page 58 of our latest book, “A Short Burst”…which you can find at our Etsy shop (search EEWbooks), or follow the links above to our site, which will bring you to our Etsy shop anyway. -Marsha