I am Joe’s Big Left Toenail.

I am Joe’s big left toe nail.  See me soar through the air like a demented boomerang.  I know not where I shall land but I’ll probably miss the trash bin because Joe’s ability to aim the stuff he spits out is for shit.

I guess Joe finally got tired of my glorious reign, as master of all I surveyed, at the tip of his big toe.  I must have threatened his manhood (or ruined the tips of too many socks).  He once tried to clip me with a fingernail trimmer but I valiantly resisted – and broke it!  So he got pissed off, sat down on the toilet, and ripped me right off  with his teeth.

I say, ‘Good riddance to Joe!’  I shall become king of all the gross stuff next to his overflowing trash can, as I can see that I am already the mightiest of all the toe nails there and shall rule for all eternity, since Joe is far too lazy to clean his friggin’ bathroom, which smells like the squeaky ass end of a dead rhinoceros on a hot, sunny day.

***We have the cult classic, “Fight Club” to thank for the inspiration for this flash-fiction fragment.  It originated as a prompt in our Saturday ‘Free-Write’ workshop with the  Montclair NJ Write Group.  I pilfered the red rough “Finger Nails” sketch from our Body-Oddies book.  It doesn’t exactly fit…but kinda does, in a really cool way (according to John, the illustrator).  Body-Oddies will be our 5th book and will be out early this year (as soon as John finishes the friggin’ illustrations!!!).   -Marsha



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