***There’s nothing like a good wholesome (shameless) promotion to hasten the debauchery of our annual holiday buying frenzy in America. We are so proud to present our first book, “Marsha Mellow’s Blue-ish Freaks”, an amazing, hand crafted, fully illustrated collection of bizarre clown rhymes and ditties…completely free of dull, capitalist influence. You can find it at our Etsy shop by searching EEWbooks at www.etsy.com. It makes a fantastic holiday gift for the people you like…as well as your family. -Marsha
Lester the Jester threw up his supper, emerging instead as a fool named Skupper who gagged on his guts as they spilled from his gob expelling another named Bob, who horked up a loogie of phlegm and bile, appearing at last as a Jester named Lyle who turned to his mates and stuck out his tongue saying, “Better off here… than out Lester’s bung.”
***He ate something funny. This is from our first book, “Marsha Mellow’s Blue-ish Freaks.” Buy the book. It will transform your life! Find all our books at our Etsy shop (search EEWbooks), or visit our website (find the link at the top of the page); www.sallemander.com -Marsha
It sounds really awkward every single recitation. (time)
It’s meter and beat are uneven and base.
Just rhyming won’t do it, it needs a good – bouncy rhythm and a spot-on, neeto keen…..pace.
And don’t forget poets who make up new words,
who clutter the page with “scruffulous’ turds.
A really bad poem just might make you cry.
Not like…from “feelings!” but a poke in the eye.
Yeah, a really bad poem will poke out your eye,
Itwill stomp on your toes and might make you…..screech like a howler monkey (cry).
But a really bad poem is funny sometimes
if you get past bad meter and horrible rhymes.
A really bad poem might just be crap
’cause the person who wrote it’s a horrible chap.
You might just not care for their poetic shit
and feel like you just want to…..GAG. (spit)
***We have all the BEST poop (and the worst bad poems). Our poop is so good it almost looks delicious (if you only knew what we had to eat to get it to look like that…) in Fact, all the shit we make with EEW Books is the best, locally produced and free of corporate influence. Find our books and stuff at www.sallemander.com and at our Etsy shop, (search EEWbooks). -Marsha
***Our apologies to all our clown friends for this PSA. We should never associate clowns with any kind of politics in America, or equate them with stupid, greedy, selfish, childish and dull people of any kind. It’s not just that we offend one of the most moral, decent and whimsical species on the planet, it’s that if you do it too often, they will find you, kill you, then fuck you and eat you…bones and all! (We’re hoping this disclaimer cleans the slate for us.) -Marsha
Democrat? Republican? Who can fuckin’ tell? Red state, Blue state? Die and go to Hell! Argue ’bout it all you want, knock each other out. ‘Right-Left’ bullshit ain’t what its about.
***This is such an easy re-post! This image is an excellent metaphor for a criminally inactive American government in the fatal, final decline of late-stage capitalism (yes, both parties and all three branches). A police state, during a global pandemic and environmental disaster, a corporate oligarchy with unchecked greed, graft and stupidity rotting away the core of the richest empire on Earth, with the most gigantic army…history shows us the fate of nations that become so weak.
This image was first published in 2015, in our first book, “Marsha Mellow’s Blue-ish Freaks.” You can find our first four books (and BUY them) by following the links to our Etsy shop, or go to etsy.com and search EEWbooks. -Marsha
***”Escape” is another tiny swatch from a page in our first book, “Marsha Mellow’s Blue-ish Freaks.” No silly story or poetry, we’re too busy getting our next book finished to post that shit…BUT, you can check out all our amazing books and stuff at etsy.com (search EEWbooks), or follow the links. -Marsha
***”Pail Blue Hand” is just a tiny swatch from an illustration in our third book, “Bludgeon the Clown.” I love it. It’s so artsy-fartsy, like a 1970’s still life painting of flowers and fruit and stuff…only different. You can find all four of our illustrated books at etsy.com (search EEWbooks). -Marsha
Dingleberries. This image, from our first book, “Marsha Mellow’s Blue-ish Freaks,” seemed like the best possible reflection of the last week of May, 2020. -Marsha
Zig-Zag the Clown has a wonderful wife, the kindest, most generous partner for life. She’s slender and lovely and cooks like a saint, the perfect companion without a complaint… Except when he comes home at quarter to four, smelling of booze and the funk of a whore! That’s when Pandora, his wife, has a FIT! …and her perfect composure slips, just a bit.
***This rough drawing of Pandora is featured as a finished, full page, full color illustration in our book, “Bludgeon the Clown.” Find it, filled with over 100 other illustrations (most of which you will NOT find here or anywhere online) at www.sallemander.com. -Marsha
***I revised the image for this post to the final art, so only people who come to this blog can see it. We only post a limited amount of art and material from each book (15-20%) so the people who buy them get the privilege of exclusive original material. We’re not concerned about going a little over the limit here because hardly anybody visits and blogs are pretty much obsolete anyway. -Marsha
Bludgeon the Clown was shit-faced-stoned, surly, loose and frisky, barely able to handle his car on crack cocaine and whiskey. Bludgeon was stopped by the cops that night and battered under arrest, for jerking too much as the tazers hit and sobbing in fierce protest.
***Here is the original rough sketch for Bludgeon, published as a 2 page spread on page 28 & 29 of our first book, “Blue-ish Freaks.” As John the illustrator always says, “It’s not art if it doesn’t piss somebody off!”…and this one definitely does. Find this and the rest of our books at www.sallemander.com (follow the links). -Marsha
