Santa Claws really likes children. He loves when they sit on his lap. He always invites his favorite to lunch with a snip and a snickety snap! He loves them with soup, loves them with rice and sautéed with wine is fun. He loves them roasted in gravy and yams or with mustard and cheese on a bun.
***I stole the poem from an older post to use here. The image of Baby Food will be in our next illustrated book, “Body-Oddies” (which should be ready for Christmas. We’re still experimenting with ‘Food Art’. It’s week 3 and the results are mediocre. People on social media are still more impressed with John’s loopy food photos than his art. I asked him about it yesterday to see how he felt…he shrugged as if he’d already forgotten about it and said, “It’s Facebook, who cares any way?!” Meanwhile, buy our amazing illustrated books. Find them at www.etsy.com and search: EEWbooks. -Marsha
When I was a kid, my mother offered to make me ‘Finger Sandwiches’ for lunch. She was (batty) always saying weird stuff like that, but this time was different. She was serious, and actually started preparing them in the kitchen while I was still trying to wrap my head around the idea. Who the heck EATS that kind of thing? Who’s fingers were they?…and why would anybody put them on a sandwich? What!! Did we run out of salami and peanut butter? But, when she finally got me to try one, I have to admit, I was pretty disappointed. It tasted like plain old sour cream and cucumber with chives and mayonnaise. No meat? No bones? No finger nails? What the HECK!?! It wasn’t until I was well into puberty that I realized that different parts of the body had different cravings and appetites. Still, I could never understand the appeal of ‘Baby Food’ or ‘Arm Candy,’ and the only thing ‘Food for Thought’ ever seemed to produce was an overabundance of ‘Head Cheese,’ which is nauseating to think about in any context. Do you really want a ‘Hand Shake?’…are you SICK??? When I finally met these guys (above), on their lunch break, a few years ago, I suddenly understood it all. I felt like everything in the universe had fallen right into place and it now made perfect sense…sorta.
***I’m messing about, here, with a rough draft for the opening/intro of our new book, “Body-Oddies.” It’s also the second post in our ‘Food Art’ series, to see if people can be enticed into liking SKETCHES of weird food as much as they like photos of the weird food that John (the illustrator) actually makes. So far it’s not going so well. People still seem to prefer real food images. A version of this image, “Finger Sandwiches,” will definitely be in the book. Meanwhile, you can find and buy all our illustrated books and merch at www.etsy.com (search: EEWbooks). -Marsha
Here’s another “Body-Oddies” sketch that won’t make it into the new book. There’s no room for it even if it was a strong enough idea and there’s no flash-fiction blurb or rhymed ditty to go with it anyway. But…since my goofy/fancy food photo posts get more attention on social media than my art, and the only reason to BE on social media is to promote my art and books, I figured I’d see how some goofy ‘food art’ does. Meanwhile, you can find and buy my first four illustrated books by following the links above or go to www.etsy.com and search: EEWbooks. -Marsha
***So far, this one looks like another possible reject from our next book, “Body-Oddies.” It’s a good little sketch, though. John did it for his big sister who does all his eye tea work, in fact, she makes the BEST, most scrumptious, most professional eye tea there is! Thanks Mary Anne.
***This was the original rough pencil sketch for “Twisted Sister.” It looks cool, and you’d think it was easy to do, but for every image that came out great in one try, there were a hundred more that ended up in the dustbin. Again, there’s no short, flash-fiction story for this…no need, really. It’s just a silly (effective) idiom, filtered through the whimsical context of John (the illustrator’s) fetid brain, for a page in our new, fifth book, “Body-Oddies” which will be out soon. You can find our first 4 books and the other stuff we sell at our Etsy shop: Just go to etsy.com and search EEWbooks, or follow the links on our site. -Marsha
***Chipper, here, is a cropped portion of an illustration from our new book, “Body-Oddies.” The publisher won’t let us reveal more than this yet, even though the book is nearly done, which is really silly since nobody will remember the image by the time the pandemic eases up and sales resume. Anyway, John named him chipper because (he says) skeletons always look like they’re grinning at something funny…which is stupid, of course! They’re obviously happy they’re dead because they no longer have to suffer the pain and disappointment of living…or whatever… -Marsha
***Just a little Eye Candy this time. This is the original sketchbook sketch. We’re REALLY busy finishing up the work on our 5th book, “Body-Oddies,” and we’re not sure this little nugget will make it past the final cut. We have 160 illustrations, but only 100 pages to work with. Not everything that gets cut is crap, so it’s a shame not to share it. -Marsha
***This is the NEW red-rough sketch for “Jar Heads.” The old one sucked. Final art for this will be a page in our new book, “Body-Oddies,” which will be finished soon (in the next few months). This was one of those lucky shots – done in one try – sitting in the back yard shade during quarantine almost a week ago. There’s no short story to go with this one (yet), and Body-Oddies is meant to be an ‘Art Book’ anyway. Meanwhile, you can find our first four illustrated books at etsy.com (search EEWbooks). -Marsha
Pops was starting to get pretty old and everyone loved the geezer, so we poured him into a popsicle mold and kept him fresh in the freezer.
***My Mother was recently in the hospital for a surgery. At 78, I guess she’s planning to resuscitate her waning modeling career. The whole time she was there, she complained incessantly about how COLD her room was, and it WAS cold! To shut her up, I finally had to explain that at her extreme old age, it was just refrigeration ….probably a malpractice liability thing. -Marsha
Boogey Man Dan was alive and well and couldn’t believe his good luck. Up until now he lived up my nose and was rather hopelessly stuck. Now he’s stuck to my finger, like a glob of cold runny eggs. At least he got out in one solid piece with all of his fingers and legs. But what to do now? Where should he go? His entire life lay ahead! …until I decided to knead him to bits and flick his corpse away…..dead.
***I’m travelling again and I’ve noticed that in every American airport there’s a special line for rich, rude, entitled people who pay loads of extra money so they can be first in line and feel important (I guess), even though we all get on the same plane, breathe the same air and arrive at the same time. THEY get to be first, at the front, like the petty popular kids in grammar school…and I just have to laugh at the silly people. The last time I was in Moab, Ut., there was one such dignified, aristocratic fellow who spent the entire trip to Philadelphia picking his nose, which inspired me to write this little ditty on the plane. -Marsha
