***It’s not as much of a “Welcome to 2021!” as it is a “Farewell to 2020.” Happy new year! -Marsha
Baby Face
I really can’t think of a favorite place but I love the idea of flavored space, which happens to rhyme with ‘baby face’ like the horrible growth on my cheek.
I like the idea of an ‘open mic’ as long as I’m never the Mike. Exposing my guts to a crowd if you like might make some people freak.
I never accepted an open ‘Hand Shake’ though I don’t mind a hand made cake. Swallowing fingers is awful to take but easy to grasp – so to speak.
But my favorite place is up my nose, where adorable ‘nose hair’ grows, which is usually better than ‘smelly toes’ ’cause its cute and fuzzy and chic.
***Lets take a little break from the national disgrace of American elections and corporatized holidays for something light, adorable and wholesome. This little ditty makes John giggle like a tickled toddler every time he reads it. He’s done rough sketches of all the ‘Body-Oddies’ it mentions (even though we only used ‘baby face’ for this post), for the new “Body-Oddies” book. Find our first four books at our EEWbooks Etsy store. Thanks. -Marsha
A Short Burst
***Our latest book, “A Short Burst” is 100 pages with 73 short, flash-fiction sci-fi stories and 64 illustrations, most of the art originally published in Analog and Asimov’s Sci-Fi Magazines. It is our 4th book and the best one yet. It makes an excellent holiday gift, even if they don’t like sci-fi. Find it at our Etsy shop at www.etsy.com and search; EEWbooks. -Marsha
Bludgeon the Clown
***Our third book, “Bludgeon the Clown” is a fully illustrated ‘graphic novel’ which exposes the grizzly details of our nationwide clown conspiracy and cover-up. The material in this book could irrevocably alter life as we know it (for the better)…unless we’re really careful. It’s big, it’s beautiful, and tastes like blue-ish nose crystals dipped in spleen juice, slathered in gooey irony and deep fried to a crispy hubris. Find it at our Etsy shop. Go to www.etsy.com and search EEWbooks. BUT…even if clowns aren’t your thing, it makes the perfect holiday gift for your most annoying in-laws – or that estranged sibling you only ever argue with on the holidays. -Marsha
Creepy
***Our second book project, “Creepy Clown Coloring Book.” There’s no short, flash-fiction story for this one, John simply saw these guys hanging out at the blues club on 17th Street one night and did a sketch of them on the spot. Don’t worry, just because its a coloring book doesn’t mean its any less amazing (awful) and beautiful than our other works. Its a delightful gallery of fantastic images designed to rekindle your fondest nightmares – in a grizzly fender bender down memory lane. Its only $10. and you can get your own copy by at our Esty shop. Go to www.etsy.com and search EEWbooks. It makes a fabulous holiday gift (even for the people you like). -Marsha
Blue-ish Freaks
***There’s nothing like a good wholesome (shameless) promotion to hasten the debauchery of our annual holiday buying frenzy in America. We are so proud to present our first book, “Marsha Mellow’s Blue-ish Freaks”, an amazing, hand crafted, fully illustrated collection of bizarre clown rhymes and ditties…completely free of dull, capitalist influence. You can find it at our Etsy shop by searching EEWbooks at www.etsy.com. It makes a fantastic holiday gift for the people you like…as well as your family. -Marsha
Fighting Tooth and Nail
***This sketch was done for the intro to our new book, “Body-Oddies,” which is plodding along through the publisher’s process. We don’t really mind. Frankly there’s no rush to get it done right now – in 2020. There are no viable markets (including online) to introduce it into until the pandemic subsides a bit. But, for me and my illustrator, John, there are several brilliant projects to get done and some amazing creative time available do them, so let it plod through the publisher’s, and when we get back to selling (next year), we’ll have more to offer a wider audience! -Marsha
Lester the Jester
Lester the Jester threw up his supper, emerging instead as a fool named Skupper who gagged on his guts as they spilled from his gob expelling another named Bob, who horked up a loogie of phlegm and bile, appearing at last as a Jester named Lyle who turned to his mates and stuck out his tongue saying, “Better off here… than out Lester’s bung.”
***He ate something funny. This is from our first book, “Marsha Mellow’s Blue-ish Freaks.” Buy the book. It will transform your life! Find all our books at our Etsy shop (search EEWbooks), or visit our website (find the link at the top of the page); www.sallemander.com -Marsha
POOP!
A really bad poem is one without rhyme.
It sounds really awkward every single recitation. (time)
It’s meter and beat are uneven and base.
Just rhyming won’t do it, it needs a good – bouncy rhythm and a spot-on, neeto keen…..pace.
And don’t forget poets who make up new words,
who clutter the page with “scruffulous’ turds.
A really bad poem just might make you cry.
Not like…from “feelings!” but a poke in the eye.
Yeah, a really bad poem will poke out your eye,
It will stomp on your toes and might make you…..screech like a howler monkey (cry).
But a really bad poem is funny sometimes
if you get past bad meter and horrible rhymes.
A really bad poem might just be crap
’cause the person who wrote it’s a horrible chap.
You might just not care for their poetic shit
and feel like you just want to…..GAG. (spit)
***We have all the BEST poop (and the worst bad poems). Our poop is so good it almost looks delicious (if you only knew what we had to eat to get it to look like that…) in Fact, all the shit we make with EEW Books is the best, locally produced and free of corporate influence. Find our books and stuff at www.sallemander.com and at our Etsy shop, (search EEWbooks). -Marsha
Faceplant
When she fell, face first, with and grunt and a thudd,
the state of her health was precarious,
but staggering up, encrusted with mud…
the look on her face was hilarious!
***This will be in our next book, “Body-Oddies” (which will be done soon), although it may end up being a completely different version – both the rhyme and the image. This is one of my favorites. I can’t count the number of times I’ve resembled this. Find and buy all our books and stuff at our Etsy shop, search EEWbooks. Thanks! -Marsha