Tag Archives: bodypiercing

Snake Eyes

Snake Eyes

I might have been slightly distracted.

   Anyone could make a mistake.

How could I miss a thing like that?!

   I just didn’t notice the snake.

How did this happen?  How could this be?

   Was she born like that?  Can she see?

I don’t know man.  I’m pretty freaked out.

   How much more can I take?

***This image appears in the new book, “BODY-ODDIES,” in it’s original blue hue. We did this B/W version as a special order print for a comic con customer. We’re not sure which one we like better! The rhyme was written for the book…but was cut by the publisher because they hate poetry (like most people). You can find BODY-ODDIES, as well as all our other books, at www.sallemander.com or go directly to Etsy and search EEWbooks. -Marsha

BODY-ODDIES

“Body-Oddies” is an art book of body idioms.  A tongue-in-cheek interpretation of commonly used body expressions taken waaay out of context.  Designed to inspire outside-the-box thinking, it will make you feel clever while you laugh out loud.  It is 100 pages with over 100 illustrations, 9×12 inches in size with stiff, perfect bound cover. Price: $30.00

Find it in our Etsy shop. Go to Etsy.com and search EEWbooks or Body-Oddies.

Disarmament

The disarmament was epic.  Everyone embraced the idea…until it was over.  Then there was no way to…embrace.  The last ones needed to be pretty clever to get it done, but by then, starvation and disease was already setting in.  People really hadn’t thought it through.  It was bad enough that they could no longer feed themselves or drive…or text. But reality finally dawned when they started to defecate in their trousers.  They certainly couldn’t embrace anything, or each other, without arms.  And all those millions of disembodied arms lying about, decomposing in piles everywhere, led to all sorts of nasty airborne and waterborne illness.  What a disaster!

When the aliens landed to study our dead culture a few years later, the sheer stupidity of it shocked them into insanity.  They evacuated immediately, nuked the Earth from space, and made sure to purge it’s existence from galactic memory, lest it infect others. And all who came into contact with us were euthanized for safety.

***This is a short, flash-fiction story with a new image for our latest book, “A Short Burst.”  It is on sale now. As well, you can find my first 3 books at our Etsy shop. Find the link at www.sallemander.com or search EEWbooks at etsy.com.   -Marsha

Tongue in Cheek

Benjamin Young almost never appeared,
though his stand-up routines were revered.
The tongue in his cheek
made him seem like a freak,
and that was a little too weird.

***Two final versions of this sketch were done for use in our new book, “Body-Oddies,” one is the cover. This one, however, is only a clean-up of the original rough sketch and was not used in the book, and the publisher won’t let us post the good ones on social media, so we’re stuck posting rough sketches and shitty rejects. Only the BEST work goes into all our books. Find our first four books at our Etsy shop. Go to www.etsy.com and search EEWbooks. -Marsha

Say It Isn’t So

body piercing-33

“Oh no!…Say it isn’t so!!!” Willy whined, staring down at his belly in horror.  “This is just getting weird…”  His therapist told him time and again to let his ‘inner child’ out but THIS was ridiculous!  What began as common heartburn blossomed into something completely bizarre.

Willy was the typical modern American man; A politically connected (racist), deeply religious (extremist), highly educated (affluent) corporate executive (dullard) – a completely normal, well adjusted person in a desperately broken society.  So naturally, he was quite fucked.  It was no wonder he developed chronic aches and pains…and over time they became rather terrible.

Willy’s doctors found nothing wrong with him, no infections, no disorders, no cancers.  They told him it was ‘all in his head’ (it was actually in his torso, an inch above his liver and just to the left of his pancreas) but his shrink found him just as fit as his peers.  Still, the pain got worse and worse until finally, at his absolute breaking point, Willy had…..a breakthrough.

He woke up one night from a juicy steak and alcohol-induced stupor to find a finger sticking out of his belly (and the complete absence of pain).  It was so weird he thought he must be dreaming and dropped off again but by morning a whole arm had emerged while a pair of feet proceeded to push out of his back with a gooshie spluck.  He was so freaked out, he fainted…..and when he got up again, he could do nothing but watch as a whole person emerged form his torso, front and back.

“Holy crap on a cracker!!!” he screamed.  But the Willy in his belly, who looked just as frantic, hollered, “Shut up, old man!…How do you think I feel?!  Oh no…Say it isn’t so!!!”

***We spent the better part of two days in the NJ motor vehicle gauntlet this week, getting licenses renewed and title, tags and registration done for a car.  John did this sketch while we waited which perfectly captured the experience in one shot.  -Marsha