I won! I am the richest man on Earth. I have more money than God! I’m not just the richest, though…I’m the winner! I am the inevitable culmination of centuries of unregulated capitalism. I own everything; All the money, all the gold, all the oil, the water, infrastructure, stocks, bonds, real estate – EVERYTHING!
The entire population of Earth, all 7 million, are my employees and tenants. Wait…did I say 7 million? No, there’s only 5.8 million as of this week…heck, I remember when there were 7 billion…but never mind that, they’re just little people. Losers! I won and they lost.
Too bad for them. Is it my fault they were born poor and unlucky, that they made bad life decisions, were unable to afford the finest education money could buy and had no inherited wealth with which to game the system? If God didn’t favor me he would not have made me so rich. That’s what makes me so much better than you.
The only question now is…What to do with it all? My only goal was to win…now what? I own ten thousand fishing yachts but the oceans are dead. I used to like the beach but they’re polluted now and storms have destroyed all the coastal cities. I used to hunt but there’s no wildlife, no more forests, either. Everything is desert and all the clouds are gone and I burn so easily…
But never mind all that…..I’m the winner! It must have been worth it, because I WON!!! I’m richer than you. I’m better than you and I won! So piss off!!…..and bring me a fresh canister of air! (gasp) I’m friggin’ suffocating over here…LOSER!!!
***This is NOT about Trump! It has nothing to do with our freak show elections and we don’t take sides, anyway (although, the corporate dude riding Uncle Sam like a bitch DOES look more like Hillary than Trump). This isn’t even a political website! It was simply the scheduled date for this story and image. Is it our fault that all the candidates piled into a mini-Clown Car and crashed it straight into the gaping ass of an elephant? -Marsha