Hans discovered that he could speak with a bear who turned up in his flat last week, as once he got past his initial dread, he understood all that he said. They hit it right off, like lickety-split, just laughing and joking and shootin’ the shit… ’till the bear got hungry and ate his head and now poor Hans is dead.
Not Again…
“Oh man…not again.” said Francis under his breath, as Martin, his room-mate, stood over him, drooling.
His attack was so swift that Francis barely had time to flinch before being stuffed forcibly into Martin’s toothy maw and swallowed whole.
Francis knew he had a little time to think before the digestive process of Martin, who was a fully grown polar bear, kicked into gear, pushed him along it’s hour-long journey, and shat him out again. And really, what had begun as a quiet time for meditation was slowly turning sour as he wondered, more and more, if this little trip was really worth it.
He acknowledged that this WAS in his rental agreement, but seriously! When would Martin develop some self control with his munchies and go make himself a peanut butter sandwich or something? Everybody knew how bad the housing market was, and it was only getting worse, but this ‘fantastic journey’ through the body of a giant circus performer, twice a week, was really not worth affordable rent. He’d had some horrible roommate’s before, but this one was starting to take the cake…uh oh…here we go….. “Yeaaahhhhgh!!!” PFLOOP! “Oooooh, yuck!
***A version of this illustration was originally commissioned in B/W for a story in Analog Magazine back in 2008. It was slated to be republished in our Bludgeon the Clown book with the poem about Hans, but the publisher cut it…it was perfectly good, but not for THAT project. Now, along with a new short flash-fiction story (inspired by the art), it has been published in our new book, A Short Burst. You can find ALL our books at our Etsy shop by going to www.etsy.com and searching EEWbooks. -Marsha