{"id":984,"date":"2018-02-12T09:03:32","date_gmt":"2018-02-12T14:03:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=984"},"modified":"2018-02-12T09:03:32","modified_gmt":"2018-02-12T14:03:32","slug":"goblin-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=984","title":{"rendered":"Goblin"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/goblin-image-08.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-177\" src=\"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/goblin-image-08-300x236.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"711\" height=\"559\" srcset=\"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/goblin-image-08-300x236.jpg 300w, http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/goblin-image-08-1024x804.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 711px) 100vw, 711px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Don\u2019t look at me like that!\u00a0 I always knew he was a Goblin.\u00a0 He made no secret of it.\u00a0 I thought he was kinda hot\u2026in that greenish, warty way \u2013 with his long, sharp tusks and rancid smell of rotting puppies.\u00a0 Turns out we have a lot in common \u2013 HAH!!\u2026not what you\u2019re thinking (my tusks are neither long nor sharp).\u00a0 Really though, both of us\u00a0have always had\u00a0terrible luck in romance with our own species.\u00a0 Why, just yesterday he confided to me\u00a0that despite my incredible human ugliness, I was so much better than any ogress he\u2019d ever had (so adorable)\u2026and I had to admit the same.\u00a0 Intellectually, we\u2019re a perfect match.\u00a0 He loves my awful Clown poetry and I love when he stomps about smashing things with a fat gnarly club \u2013 while we both hate smartass intellectuals and have a kinky thing for exotic firearms\u2026..aaaaaah, true love at last.<\/p>\n<p><em>***This should, in no way, be construed as a true story (and you better keep your damned mouth shut Delia, you weren\u2019t even there!).\u00a0 The illustration was first used in 2013 by Surprising Stories DCWI (an online sci-fi magazine)&#8230;and HAPPY VALENTINES\u00a0DAY!!!\u00a0\u00a0 -Marsha<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Don\u2019t look at me like that!\u00a0 I always knew he was a Goblin.\u00a0 He made no secret of it.\u00a0 I thought he was kinda hot\u2026in that greenish, warty way \u2013 with his long, sharp tusks and rancid smell of rotting puppies.\u00a0 Turns out we have a lot in common \u2013 HAH!!\u2026not what you\u2019re thinking (my &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=984\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Goblin<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[150,241,124],"tags":[79,28,210,105,176,19,102,22],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/984"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=984"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/984\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":995,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/984\/revisions\/995"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=984"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=984"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=984"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}