{"id":825,"date":"2017-07-25T09:00:16","date_gmt":"2017-07-25T13:00:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=825"},"modified":"2017-07-25T09:00:16","modified_gmt":"2017-07-25T13:00:16","slug":"brain-salad-buffet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=825","title":{"rendered":"Brain Salad Buffet"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/Brain-Salad-B-94.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-826\" src=\"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/Brain-Salad-B-94-300x229.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"713\" height=\"544\" srcset=\"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/Brain-Salad-B-94-300x229.jpg 300w, http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/Brain-Salad-B-94-768x587.jpg 768w, http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/Brain-Salad-B-94-1024x783.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 713px) 100vw, 713px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>We think they consumed intelligence the way we consume food.\u00a0 It sustained them and they were drawn to it like moths to a flame.\u00a0 We think the people who came for the speech must have attracted them, after all, the event drew some of the top thinkers from the party; business executives, media luminaries, religious icons&#8230;all gathered together like a brain salad buffet. \u00a0We think their mistake was just a matter of bad timing, because by the time the singularity formed just above the President&#8217;s head and they began flooding through the rift like a swarm of gangly metal spiders, the bloviating buffoon at the podium had already been speechifying for over an hour.\u00a0 A whole hour of engorged bravado, exaggerated assertions and pandering half-truths&#8230;reducing the (otherwise intelligent) audience to a drooling mob of seething stupidity.<\/p>\n<p>We saw them spread out through the arena, randomly plucking dull witted followers from the audience like daisies, harvesting their heads for the tasty data in their brains&#8230;.only to come up short.\u00a0 The more heads they dissolved, the more puzzled they became&#8230;unsatisfied.\u00a0 In fact they appeared to be weakening&#8230;starving &#8211; but then, who comes to a political speech, nowadays, for intelligence?<\/p>\n<p>And as the rift sputtered and closed and the invaders lay down to die, we think we heard them mindlessly chanting &#8230;U.S.A&#8230;.U..S..A&#8230;..u&#8230;s&#8230;a&#8230;..<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We think they consumed intelligence the way we consume food.\u00a0 It sustained them and they were drawn to it like moths to a flame.\u00a0 We think the people who came for the speech must have attracted them, after all, the event drew some of the top thinkers from the party; business executives, media luminaries, religious &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=825\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Brain Salad Buffet<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[150,106,124],"tags":[79,28,176,131,19],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/825"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=825"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/825\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":838,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/825\/revisions\/838"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=825"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=825"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=825"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}