{"id":680,"date":"2016-12-20T09:00:27","date_gmt":"2016-12-20T14:00:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=680"},"modified":"2016-12-20T09:00:27","modified_gmt":"2016-12-20T14:00:27","slug":"winter-weather-advisory","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=680","title":{"rendered":"Winter Weather Advisory"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"thesanta-64\"<\/a>It was June and sunny.\u00a0 The first sunny day he’d seen in months.\u00a0 Standing atop a 60 foot snow drift, Santa surveyed the landscape of Death Valley, Nevada. This was no way to spend his vacation.\u00a0 Where were the buzzards and the fire ants?\u00a0 Where were the salt flats and sand dunes?\u00a0 This place looked too much like home this year…how awful!<\/p>\n

Well, what did he expect?\u00a0 This is where things like consumerism, waste, greed and stupidity get you – and he had to admit, he played his part.\u00a0 Ever since they hired him to sell capitalism to the huddled masses, back in the 30’s and 40’s…..a snowpocalypse was inevitable.\u00a0 Mother Nature swings like a sassy pendulum, knocking the idiots aside with the good ones.\u00a0 Maybe the random survivors will come through smarter and better this time…but he doubted it.\u00a0 Oh well, he still had to find sunscreen for Mrs. Clause or she’d have his head.<\/p>\n

He got back into his sleigh and flew off in search of a frozen supermarket, hoping the looters left some Twinkies…or some milk duds…<\/p>\n

THE SANTA\u00a0 (an excerpt from ‘Bludgeon the Clown’)\u00a0Possibly the best known clown of all and the greatest Christian icon in history.\u00a0 Santa is the hardest fellow to meet.\u00a0 When I flew to the North Pole for an interview I found nothing there but a giant peppermint flavored pole…and simply planning to intercept his holiday flight got me a visit from Homeland Security (again). Frankly, I couldn’t confirm he existed at all (I was crushed).\u00a0 Yet somehow, he still manages to deliver the most fabulous gifts, each year, to the most affluent (undeserving) children in the world…..maybe its just as well I didn’t find this clown.\u00a0 -Marsha<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It was June and sunny.\u00a0 The first sunny day he’d seen in months.\u00a0 Standing atop a 60 foot snow drift, Santa surveyed the landscape of Death Valley, Nevada. This was no way to spend his vacation.\u00a0 Where were the buzzards and the fire ants?\u00a0 Where were the salt flats and sand dunes?\u00a0 This place looked … Continue reading Winter Weather Advisory<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[125,150],"tags":[128,176,194,19,102],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/680"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=680"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/680\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":683,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/680\/revisions\/683"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=680"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=680"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=680"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}