{"id":559,"date":"2016-07-05T09:00:56","date_gmt":"2016-07-05T13:00:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=559"},"modified":"2016-07-05T09:00:56","modified_gmt":"2016-07-05T13:00:56","slug":"search-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=559","title":{"rendered":"Search Me…"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Search<\/a><\/p>\n

They were big and beefy and incredibly strong.\u00a0 They were aggressive, pointing their weapons everywhere and smelled like belligerent fear as they shouted and snarled.\u00a0 They wore plate armor like insects but they were pasty and bony underneath with beady eyes and a ridiculous tuft of hair on their tiny heads – like hand puppets.\u00a0 They were most definitely …ALIEN!<\/p>\n

When they landed their starship in my back yard and demanded, “Take me to your leader!”\u00a0 I was so stunned – so baffled that I just froze and blinked at them.\u00a0 Their exasperated captain tried again, “Where are your leaders?!” with a sneer of contempt, as if I was a child.\u00a0 I simply shrugged and said, “Search me…”<\/p>\n

Now, I don’t know if they misunderstood me or just had a REALLY strange sense of humor…..but being held down in a medical lab with a gnarly probe approaching my buttocks is taking things waaaaaay too literally.<\/p>\n

***This one reminds me of my last colonoscopy…And can anybody explain what the deal is with Aliens and anal probes?\u00a0 Every single time; anal probe – anal probe – anal probe.\u00a0 They’re almost as bad as the CIA (though, at least Aliens ask intelligent questions).\u00a0 This was the (lucky) 13th cover John did for Analog\/Asimov’s Magazines.\u00a0 -Marsha\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

They were big and beefy and incredibly strong.\u00a0 They were aggressive, pointing their weapons everywhere and smelled like belligerent fear as they shouted and snarled.\u00a0 They wore plate armor like insects but they were pasty and bony underneath with beady eyes and a ridiculous tuft of hair on their tiny heads – like hand puppets.\u00a0 … Continue reading Search Me…<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[150,124],"tags":[79,201,202],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/559"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=559"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/559\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":561,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/559\/revisions\/561"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=559"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=559"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=559"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}