{"id":552,"date":"2016-06-21T08:59:37","date_gmt":"2016-06-21T12:59:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=552"},"modified":"2016-06-21T08:59:37","modified_gmt":"2016-06-21T12:59:37","slug":"whats-the-sense-of-it-all","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=552","title":{"rendered":"What’s The Sense of it All"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"All-thumbs-38\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Larry had no objection to toes.\u00a0 He never thought much about them, really.\u00a0 Sure, they help us to stand up straight and balance on two feet…but so what!?\u00a0 They’re just little nubbly things. \u00a0They’re not sexy or cool like fingers (at least you can pick your nose and scratch your ass with fingers). \u00a0Toes are shit.\u00a0 They make lousy ear rings, smell worse than ass crack and are too bony to eat (even saut\u00e9ed in olive oil with mushrooms and onions) and they taste like chum, anyway.<\/p>\n

So why?…..What’s the sense of growing one right out from the center of his forehead?\u00a0 How could he have gone to bed last night, feeling like a perfectly normal modern man (with hypertension, diabetes and chronic back pain) …and wake up the next morning with such bad luck?\u00a0 What kind of rotten cosmic karma did he upset for nature – or god (or whatever) to decide to put a big gnarly, fully grown toe, right smack between his eyes?<\/p>\n

Seriously though, wasn’t it bad enough that he already had a whole festering patch of them growing down his back?…..UGHHH!!!\u00a0 What’s the sense of it all!!?<\/p>\n

***I’m pretty sure Larry isn’t the only one who wakes up every morning with awkward growths or nasty lumps.\u00a0 Some are easy to dispatch, others we just have to live with –\u00a0to be sure, I’ve noticed it becoming yet another disturbing trend among a broken people in\u00a0our broken society.\u00a0 But…all is not lost.\u00a0 The solution to all your woes can be found in the pages of\u00a0our new book, ‘Marsha Mellow’s Blue-ish Freaks.’\u00a0 You can find it by following the link above to www.sallemander.com.\u00a0 -Marsha<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Larry had no objection to toes.\u00a0 He never thought much about them, really.\u00a0 Sure, they help us to stand up straight and balance on two feet…but so what!?\u00a0 They’re just little nubbly things. \u00a0They’re not sexy or cool like fingers (at least you can pick your nose and scratch your ass with fingers). \u00a0Toes are … Continue reading What’s The Sense of it All<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/552"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=552"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/552\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":554,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/552\/revisions\/554"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=552"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=552"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=552"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}