{"id":466,"date":"2016-04-26T09:02:36","date_gmt":"2016-04-26T13:02:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=466"},"modified":"2016-04-26T09:02:36","modified_gmt":"2016-04-26T13:02:36","slug":"comic-con","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=466","title":{"rendered":"Comic Con"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Paranoia Smith was the most exhausting, obnoxious, insufferable, skate-punk, tattooed, cross dressing poseur I ever met at a Comic Con.\u00a0 Within a minute in this lunatic&#8217;s presence I wanted to rip off his head and crap down his neck.\u00a0 He babbled incessantly (when he wasn&#8217;t &#8216;rapping&#8217; or screeching heavy metal lyrics) and his fake blonde goatee and dreadlocks smelled like a port-a-potty.\u00a0 He was one of those touchy-feely dudes who never let up.\u00a0 <a href=\"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Comic-Con-image-30.jpg\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-469\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-image-469 alignleft\" src=\"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Comic-Con-image-30-159x300.jpg\" alt=\"Comic-Con-image-30\" width=\"236\" height=\"445\" srcset=\"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Comic-Con-image-30-159x300.jpg 159w, http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Comic-Con-image-30-768x1449.jpg 768w, http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Comic-Con-image-30-543x1024.jpg 543w, http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Comic-Con-image-30.jpg 1166w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 236px) 100vw, 236px\" \/><\/a>He had a finger puppet named Yak Feces who insisted on probing all of my facial orifices.\u00a0\u00a0And he simply could not convey any of his incomplete &#8216;ideas&#8217; from a distance further than an inch from my nose with breath like the putrid steam at the edge of a volcano.\u00a0 He was a wild eyed maniac with no self control&#8230;.actually dribbled chaw juice on my shoe, then apologized as he hosed it off with urine&#8230;..<\/p>\n<p>BUT, he bought one of my ridiculous &#8216;Blue-ish Freaks&#8217; books just now and I love him for it.\u00a0 We could be brothers.<\/p>\n<p>Oh no! Next in line was Lisa, an enormous middle aged woman in a teeny-tiny Sailor Moon costume with bits bulging from under her adorable skirt that I didn&#8217;t know women even had.\u00a0 I think her blue hair was her real hair.\u00a0 &#8220;Could you sign mine?&#8221; she croaked like Jabba the Hut&#8230;and I was grinning (as she pulled out exact change) too horrified to look away from&#8230;this beautiful, elegant\u00a0creature who loves my book.\u00a0 I could have married her on the spot.<\/p>\n<p>Next in line is&#8230;oh, sweet Jesus&#8230;..<\/p>\n<p><em>***John brought our new book out to sell at the Philadelphia Comic Con last weekend.\u00a0 It was brilliant.\u00a0 He met so many talented, decent, cool people and artists and vendors&#8230;What a great time\u00a0&#8211; and you would not believe how many books he sold (my mother told me we should have brought more&#8230;).\u00a0 Wish I\u00a0had been\u00a0there.\u00a0 -Marsha<\/em><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Comic-Con-image-30.jpg\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-469\">\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Paranoia Smith was the most exhausting, obnoxious, insufferable, skate-punk, tattooed, cross dressing poseur I ever met at a Comic Con.\u00a0 Within a minute in this lunatic&#8217;s presence I wanted to rip off his head and crap down his neck.\u00a0 He babbled incessantly (when he wasn&#8217;t &#8216;rapping&#8217; or screeching heavy metal lyrics) and his fake blonde &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=466\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Comic Con<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[125,150],"tags":[128,37,102],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/466"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=466"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/466\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":474,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/466\/revisions\/474"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=466"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=466"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=466"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}