{"id":352,"date":"2016-02-23T09:01:34","date_gmt":"2016-02-23T14:01:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=352"},"modified":"2016-02-23T09:01:34","modified_gmt":"2016-02-23T14:01:34","slug":"faith-in-brand-name-products","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=352","title":{"rendered":"Faith, In Brand Name Products"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"worms-21\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The worms had invested several generations into this project.\u00a0 They were steadfast and intrepid.\u00a0 It took months to meticulously scour every inch of the box to find flaws in the smooth laminate – the tiniest gaps in the seal, then year upon year of boring , rotting and tunneling through hard woods and glues.\u00a0 They had never met Faith…had no idea what kind of person she was but from the quality of her box, they trusted that she had taste…was tasteful.\u00a0 (Tasty?)<\/p>\n

The worms celebrated their first breakthrough as a holiday.\u00a0 It was a momentous achievement.\u00a0 A pauper’s box was easy to tap but was quickly overrun by poachers, a rich person’s box – though a major endeavor – was a rich prize.\u00a0 The worms took time to reflect and remember their forebears who began this campaign with such hope and ambition.\u00a0 It was good to be a worm and sure to get better…<\/p>\n

…But, when they finally breached Faith’s inner cavern, they were appalled at the stench.\u00a0 It wasn’t the tasteful (rotten) odor of a well fed, well groomed lady, whose conquest would fill their bellies as much as their pride, it was the vile reek of toxins…death to worms.\u00a0 They found Faith, in brand name products.<\/p>\n

She was slathered in chemical cosmetics, pumped full of formaldehyde, lead and mercury and her flesh, saturated with food additives and preservatives.\u00a0 She had fake hair, fake nails, fake boobs, lips and joints.\u00a0 She looked as perfectly pickled now as the day she was buried…but for the worms, Faith was completely inedible.\u00a0 Disconsolate and defeated, they turned away wondering what the modern world was coming to.<\/p>\n

***Some would qualify Faith, with all her enhancements, as a “cyborg” (how exciting!).\u00a0 However, the products which enhanced her beauty…shortened her life.\u00a0 Oh, but never mind that!\u00a0 I’m sure she’s been looking up at her corpse this past decade, quite proud\u00a0of its everlasting glamour.\u00a0 As to the worms, there isn’t much hope.\u00a0 Perseverance and integrity don’t count for much any more… meanwhile today’s graveyards are tomorrow’s superfund sites.\u00a0 -Marsha\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

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The worms had invested several generations into this project.\u00a0 They were steadfast and intrepid.\u00a0 It took months to meticulously scour every inch of the box to find flaws in the smooth laminate – the tiniest gaps in the seal, then year upon year of boring , rotting and tunneling through hard woods and glues.\u00a0 They … Continue reading Faith, In Brand Name Products<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[150],"tags":[157,154,151],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/352"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=352"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/352\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":371,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/352\/revisions\/371"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=352"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=352"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=352"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}