{"id":1858,"date":"2021-07-12T09:34:54","date_gmt":"2021-07-12T13:34:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=1858"},"modified":"2021-07-12T09:34:54","modified_gmt":"2021-07-12T13:34:54","slug":"constant-craving-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=1858","title":{"rendered":"Constant Craving"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><a href=\"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/constant-craving-13.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" width=\"621\" height=\"1024\" src=\"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/constant-craving-13-621x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-239\" srcset=\"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/constant-craving-13-621x1024.jpg 621w, http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/constant-craving-13-182x300.jpg 182w, http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/constant-craving-13.jpg 1335w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 621px) 100vw, 621px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cConstant gravy!!\u2026or did he say constant craving!?\u201d but everyone was already writing and the professor\u2019s response was garbled\u2026sure, okay, constant gravy seemed right.&nbsp; I was feeling pretty woozy since I cut myself shaving earlier and couldn\u2019t make it stop bleeding.&nbsp; It just gushed, thick and goopy\u2026yeah, constant gravy\u2026coool!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What began as a simple nick under my nose, got worse a few minutes later when blood started running down my cheek.&nbsp; An hour later, it was dripping copiously.&nbsp; In two hours it was a steady flow and by lunchtime I was squirting all over the place, soaking my clothes, the furniture and painting the walls.&nbsp; It was impossible to concentrate as the room kept spinning faster and faster\u2026..<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I must have spaced out for a while because when I woke, the stuff leaking out was no longer red.&nbsp; Thankfully it was just cheese wizz leaking from the push nozzle on my head.&nbsp; What?!\u2026don\u2019t you have a nozzle?\u2026and what\u2019s so weird about that?&nbsp; Best of all, the harder I pumped the thicker it flowed\u2026aaaaah, pretty\u2026..<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I must have spaced out for a while\u2026..what was I saying?\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>***This really happened.&nbsp; Its lucky that John got a good sketch of this guy at the writing workshop before things went sideways.&nbsp; This post is a shortened version of the&nbsp;story\u2026but we didn\u2019t want to give away all the best parts before we publish it in our BODY-ODDIES book.&nbsp; -Marsha<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cConstant gravy!!\u2026or did he say constant craving!?\u201d but everyone was already writing and the professor\u2019s response was garbled\u2026sure, okay, constant gravy seemed right.&nbsp; I was feeling pretty woozy since I cut myself shaving earlier and couldn\u2019t make it stop bleeding.&nbsp; It just gushed, thick and goopy\u2026yeah, constant gravy\u2026coool! What began as a simple nick under &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=1858\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Constant Craving<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[118,150,241,124],"tags":[268,105,248,176,99,10,256,102],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1858"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1858"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1858\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1860,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1858\/revisions\/1860"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1858"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1858"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1858"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}