{"id":1663,"date":"2020-10-19T09:00:43","date_gmt":"2020-10-19T13:00:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=1663"},"modified":"2020-10-19T09:00:43","modified_gmt":"2020-10-19T13:00:43","slug":"my-best-foot-backwards","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=1663","title":{"rendered":"My Best Foot Backwards"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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My Best Foot Backwards<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

     I call my left foot Lefty.  I’ve always called him Lefty.  There’s never been any argument from him and he gets no complaints.  We get along just fine, but the other foot, well…it’s like apples and oranges.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

     My other foot calls himself “Backwards.”  I named him Louis but he won’t answer to that.  That one is constant trouble!  Sure, he has better balance and coordination, heck!…if not for him I’d fall flat on my face.  Let’s not even mention my dancing!  But Backwards, even as my best foot, is a hand-full (so to speak).  He likes randomly kicking things, splashing in mud puddles and somehow, always smells of doggy doo.  And “BACKWARDS?”…I don’t even get it.  Why call himself Backwards?!?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

     Now, my other-OTHER foot, my right foot…that bastard!  He decided to call himself Backwards TOO!!!  What the hell!?!  I think that one goes out of his way JUST to piss me off (I can hear him giggling now).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Honestly though, my feet aren’t even the worst of my problems right now…try keeping three wayward hands in check when you’re trying to conquer the world…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***This flash-fiction story and illustration was recently published in our newest book, “A Short Burst.” A rougher version of the image was originally commissioned for the March, 2009 issue of Analog Magazine. Find and buy all our books at our Etsy shop, search EEWbooks. -Marsha<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My Best Foot Backwards      I call my left foot Lefty.  I’ve always called him Lefty.  There’s never been any argument from him and he gets no complaints.  We get along just fine, but the other foot, well…it’s like apples and oranges.      My other foot calls himself “Backwards.”  I named him Louis but he … Continue reading My Best Foot Backwards<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[242,150,124],"tags":[210,38,99,10,256,19,115],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1663"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1663"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1663\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1665,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1663\/revisions\/1665"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1663"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1663"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1663"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}