{"id":1251,"date":"2019-04-29T09:00:06","date_gmt":"2019-04-29T13:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=1251"},"modified":"2019-04-29T09:00:06","modified_gmt":"2019-04-29T13:00:06","slug":"one-step-forward-two-steps-back-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=1251","title":{"rendered":"One Step Forward, Two Steps Back"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n

Milton was an odd fellow. Everybody thought so. He had wild ideas about everything from politics to gardening. He thought animals would be healthier if we didn\u2019t butcher them. He thought terrorism was a bad way to fight terrorism and had, daily,\u00a0heated arguments about transference with the wooden Indian outside the smoke shop\u2026.very odd.<\/p>\n

He painted a creepy clown face with purple polka-dots on his van (even though he can\u2019t drive). He muttered bizarre things to ladies as he passed them in the streets, like: \u201cHave a nice day!\u201d and \u201cLove your head scarf!!\u201d \u2013 it was horrifying. Last week he predicted the world would end two years ago and hung unauthorized presidential campaign posters for \u2018asparagus\u2019 and \u2018enchiladas\u2019 (even though they were probably better candidates)\u2026and every time\u00a0he ate pickled anchovy sandwiches with mayo and peanut butter, his breath still smelled like beef jerky\u2026..Huh!<\/p>\n

For all\u00a0this and much more, Milton was the subject of intense gossip all over town. He often made the front page of the local Gazette and people got into fist fights over the consistency of his guacamole. To some, he was a nuisance, to others a local folk hero \u2013 and to others still, a tourist attraction.<\/p>\n

Well, that was all good and fine for most folks\u2026but for me, seeing him stroll about with three fully grown legs \u2013 one facing front and two facing back, was truly a marvel\u2026..and wow, what a snazzy dancer!<\/p>\n

***This is a sketch and flash fiction piece for my \u201cBody-Oddies\u201d book project, which is well underway and on schedule for publication in 2020 (that is, if John can get his lazy ass in gear and finish the illustrations).\u00a0 The publisher is really excited with the whole project.\u00a0 You can buy our first 3 books by following the links to www.sallemander.com or go to EEWbooks at Etsy.com.\u00a0 \u00a0 -Marsha Mellow<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0 Milton was an odd fellow. Everybody thought so. He had wild ideas about everything from politics to gardening. He thought animals would be healthier if we didn\u2019t butcher them. He thought terrorism was a bad way to fight terrorism and had, daily,\u00a0heated arguments about transference with the wooden Indian outside the smoke shop\u2026.very odd. … Continue reading One Step Forward, Two Steps Back<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[118,242,150],"tags":[250,210,105,248,38,176,99,41,96,102],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1251"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1251"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1251\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1252,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1251\/revisions\/1252"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1251"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1251"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1251"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}