{"id":1214,"date":"2019-02-18T09:00:13","date_gmt":"2019-02-18T14:00:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=1214"},"modified":"2019-02-18T09:00:13","modified_gmt":"2019-02-18T14:00:13","slug":"fish-ed-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=1214","title":{"rendered":"Fish Ed"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/Fish-Ed-90.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-812\" src=\"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/Fish-Ed-90-230x300.jpg\" sizes=\"(max-width: 709px) 100vw, 709px\" srcset=\"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/Fish-Ed-90-230x300.jpg 230w, http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/Fish-Ed-90-768x1001.jpg 768w, http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/Fish-Ed-90-786x1024.jpg 786w\" alt=\"\" width=\"709\" height=\"925\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>I woke up unconscious.\u00a0 My aching head smelled funny.\u00a0 There was something sticky between my cheek and the cold shelf in the refrigerator.\u00a0 \u201cEat me!\u201d demanded the chicken, \u201cI taste great! Why\u2026I taste like chicken!\u00a0 Everybody loves chicken.\u201d\u00a0 He was hard to take seriously without a head \u2013 his neck hole made him lisp.\u00a0 \u201cEat ME!!\u201d he yelled again.<\/p>\n<p>But the egg was just as bold: \u201cNO!\u00a0 Eat me!\u201d and raising his eyebrows suggestively, with a sexy-baby voice, he said, \u201cI\u2019m young.\u00a0 I\u2019m soft.\u00a0 You can do ANYTHING to meeee\u2026fry me, poach me, slather me in mayonnaise\u2026 Mmmmmm!\u00a0 I\u2019m delicious!\u201d\u00a0 He grinned.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDon\u2019t listen to HIM!\u201d said Chicken.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m delicious with mayo too\u2026and you LOVE barbeque and I have\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWHUMP!!!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I slammed the fridge.\u00a0 I could see that the jelly was already awake and I always hated talking to her.\u00a0 Besides, the guacamole was poised, just waiting for his chance to interrupt and frankly, my aching brain could not handle whatever the leftover stromboli had to say \u2013 with his nauseating salami and jalape\u00f1o breath\u2026..and what was that funny smell?\u00a0 Was that fish?\u00a0 I don\u2019t like fish.\u00a0 \u201cHey buddy,\u201d said the fish, \u201cthat\u2019s not a very nice thing to think.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cWHUMP!!!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I woke up unconscious.\u00a0 My aching head smelled funny.\u00a0 There was something sticky between my cheek and the cold shelf in the refrigerator.\u00a0 \u201cEat me!\u201d demanded the chicken, \u201cI taste great! Why\u2026I taste like chicken!\u00a0 Everybody loves chicken.\u201d\u00a0 He was hard to take seriously without a head \u2013 his neck hole made him lisp.\u00a0 \u201cEat &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=1214\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Fish Ed<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[118,150],"tags":[250,210,105,248,38,176,99,96,102],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1214"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1214"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1214\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1215,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1214\/revisions\/1215"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1214"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1214"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1214"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}