{"id":1103,"date":"2018-08-20T08:50:55","date_gmt":"2018-08-20T12:50:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=1103"},"modified":"2018-08-20T08:50:55","modified_gmt":"2018-08-20T12:50:55","slug":"old-wives-tail-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=1103","title":{"rendered":"Old Wives’ Tail"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Old-wives-tail-44\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Last night she came in through the bathroom window\u2026the one up on the third floor.\u00a0 At this point I\u2019m too numb to be surprised.\u00a0 Last week, before bed, she reached up to take her glasses off\u00a0and her whole head came away.\u00a0 She paid it no mind, just set it down on the nightstand next to her spittoon and went to sleep \u2013 I slept on the couch that night.<\/p>\n

Three days ago she came home from a visit with her mother dragging a massive, spiked tail behind her as if nothing was amiss (talk about an old wives tail).\u00a0 The dogs were pretty upset.\u00a0 I spent the night \u2018working\u2019 in my office with a bottle of scotch and a joint.<\/p>\n

So, the bathroom window thing last night was hardly a bother \u2013 and the mystery of how she managed the climb was solved when I noticed her folding leathery bat wings up under her coat.\u00a0 What those long curly tusks could possibly be used for, I cannot guess\u2026..but I think I\u2019ll sleep out in the car tonight.<\/p>\n

***This is a true story.\u00a0 It happened to a guy I knew\u2026well actually\u00a0the next door neighbor of\u00a0a second cousin, twice removed of my best friend\u2019s cubicle mate’s mother-in-law (from her old job).\u00a0 It\u2019s really sad how people drift apart but its inevitable and sometimes we just have to adapt to\u00a0the new paradigm.\u00a0 This is another unofficial \u2018red rough\u2019 sketch from our upcoming book \u201cBody-Oddies\u201d\u00a0which I\u2019m forbidden to post\u2026but what John (my illustrator)\u00a0doesn\u2019t know won\u2019t kill him.\u00a0 Find our books at www.sallemander.com\u00a0 \u00a0 -Marsha<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Last night she came in through the bathroom window\u2026the one up on the third floor.\u00a0 At this point I\u2019m too numb to be surprised.\u00a0 Last week, before bed, she reached up to take her glasses off\u00a0and her whole head came away.\u00a0 She paid it no mind, just set it down on the nightstand next to … Continue reading Old Wives’ Tail<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[118,150],"tags":[210,105,128,248,176,99,96,102],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1103"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1103"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1103\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1104,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1103\/revisions\/1104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1103"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1103"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1103"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}