{"id":1044,"date":"2018-05-14T09:01:52","date_gmt":"2018-05-14T13:01:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=1044"},"modified":"2018-05-14T09:01:52","modified_gmt":"2018-05-14T13:01:52","slug":"search-me-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=1044","title":{"rendered":"Search Me&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Search-me-image-40.jpg\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-560\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-560\" src=\"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Search-me-image-40-235x300.jpg\" sizes=\"(max-width: 624px) 100vw, 624px\" srcset=\"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Search-me-image-40-235x300.jpg 235w, http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Search-me-image-40-803x1024.jpg 803w\" alt=\"Search me-image-40\" width=\"624\" height=\"797\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>They were big and beefy and incredibly strong.\u00a0 They were aggressive, poking their weapons everywhere and they smelled like belligerent fear as they shouted and snarled.\u00a0 They\u00a0had plate armor like insects but were pasty and bony underneath with beady eyes and a ridiculous tuft of hair on their tiny heads \u2013 like hand puppets.\u00a0 They were most definitely \u2026ALIEN!<\/p>\n<p>When they landed their starship in my back yard and demanded; \u201cTake me to your leader!\u201d\u00a0 I was so stunned \u2013 so baffled that I froze and just\u00a0blinked at them.\u00a0 Their exasperated captain tried again; \u201cWhere are your leaders?!\u201d sneering with\u00a0contempt, as if I was a child.\u00a0 I simply shrugged and said, \u201cSearch me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Now&#8230;I don\u2019t know if they misunderstood me or just had a REALLY strange sense of humor\u2026..but being held down in a medical lab with a gnarly probe approaching my buttocks is taking things waaaaaay too literally.\u00a0 These humans area\u00a0 nasty bunch.<\/p>\n<p><em>***This\u00a0story reminds me of my last colonoscopy\u2026And can anybody explain what the deal is with Aliens and anal probes?\u00a0 They\u2019re almost as bad as the CIA (at least Aliens ask intelligent questions).\u00a0 This was the (lucky) 13th cover John did for the Jan\/Feb 2015 issue of Analog Magazine.\u00a0 You won&#8217;t find this image in any of our 3 current books but you can find our books by following the links to www.sallemander.com and our\u00a0Etsy shop. \u00a0 -Marsha\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>They were big and beefy and incredibly strong.\u00a0 They were aggressive, poking their weapons everywhere and they smelled like belligerent fear as they shouted and snarled.\u00a0 They\u00a0had plate armor like insects but were pasty and bony underneath with beady eyes and a ridiculous tuft of hair on their tiny heads \u2013 like hand puppets.\u00a0 They &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/?p=1044\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Search Me&#8230;<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[150,124],"tags":[79,56,7,28,210,105,248,38,176,99,19,96,102],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1044"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1044"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1044\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1052,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1044\/revisions\/1052"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1044"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1044"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sallemander.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1044"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}