Bio of Marsha Mellow by Marsha Mellow<\/p>\n
I knew I wanted to be a famous writer from the time I was a little girl (my high school cheerleading career was never going to pan out).\u00a0 Originally I thought I’d write books but growing up in a conservative, gated community in Texas left me with NO creative ideas, so I chose corporate journalism.\u00a0 My daddy (I think he was an Exxon climatologist) made sure I got the finest education money could buy, although he seemed disappointed when I finished with a degree instead of a husband.<\/p>\n
My meteoric rise in journalism began as an unpaid intern at my hometown weekly, The Village Gossip, writing garden party reviews (very high brow stuff).\u00a0 From there I went to The Star Tribune where I won the ‘perkiest obituary award’ 6 years running.\u00a0 But I really hit it big at Newscorp, typing bottom-scroll news alerts on live cable T.V.\u00a0 I was a perfect fit at FOX…but that ended abruptly when my boss’s wife objected to our afternoon “production meetings” at the Parkway Motel.\u00a0 Oh well, who cares about a silly bunch of torture, illegal wars and drone terrorism anyway?\u00a0 I spent the next seven years as a copy writer for the pharmaceutical industry, doing side-effects disclaimers for all the new drugs.\u00a0 My favorite was “…may cause anal discharge from the naval.”\u00a0 Ooooh, but those were good times…doing god’s work…with endless free samples…<\/p>\n
When a bizarre set of stories about Clowns piqued my curiosity, I saw a golden opportunity to do some REAL, Fox level, journalism and exploit the hell out of them.\u00a0 Clowns were an already marginalized population of simpletons…easy money.\u00a0 Of course, having to associating with ‘those’ freakish people was a little out of my comfort zone…and I ran into technical problems which forced me to partner with an ‘artist’ (the only creatures I loathe more than Clowns, Ugh!) but this was an important story and I expected it to bring me the fame and fortune I deserved.\u00a0 Ultimately, Clown stories don’t measure up to celebrity sex scandals and outed congressmen in the mainstream news, so my work never went to press.\u00a0 A BOOK of Clowns, however, seemed a perfect consolation….and put me right back on track to fulfill my earliest childhood dreams.<\/p>\n
Coming soon, “Marsha Mellow’s Blue-ish Freaks.”
\nBio of John Allemand by Marsha Mellow<\/p>\n
A lot of people like John\u2019s art\u2026but he\u2019s really not the sort that \u2018respectable\u2019 people should get to know.\u00a0 He\u2019s been known to associate with circus people (Clowns!), has arguments with random body parts (spleens!) and has an ugly prejudice against sentient technology (robots!).\u00a0 He\u2019s certainly not the type you\u2019d \u201cwant to have a beer with\u201d like George W. Bush.<\/p>\n
In utero, John had a conjoined twin brother attached at the buttocks but by the time he was born, his twin had been completely absorbed..\u2026except for its tiny, powerful brain.\u00a0 Being the dullard of the two, John naturally deferred all of his higher thinking to his (lower) smarter brain.\u00a0 I often say that most of his best ideas come straight out of his ass.<\/p>\n
He was born in East Orange NJ, the youngest of 16 and despite a typical American public school education, he came away with a deep appreciation for diverse cultures and ideas – a freakish critical thinker\u2026very disappointing.\u00a0 A few years later, however, he learned to suppress his personal integrity and craftsmanship as it made him a pariah among his peers and a liability to his clients.\u00a0 Lowering himself into the sleaze of corporate advertizing, he convinced himself it was all worth it \u2018for the sake of the kids\u2019 (which it wasn\u2019t).<\/p>\n
John had a spectacular 30 year career in film & animation doing amazing work on some of the worst T.V. shows and dangerous commercials ever made.\u00a0 He was a master of selling useless crap to gullible people.\u00a0 When the corporate art industry collapsed under austerity, he retired to follow his passions.<\/p>\n
In Costa Rica he became a Free-Range Guacamole Rancher but something in the water caused a partial rebirth of his twin brother through his scrotum.\u00a0 In Kalamazoo his ‘Shits and Giggles’ Gourmet Taco Truck was a raging success until he sold it to a fellow with one leg named Willy when local Taco Mobsters made threats on his yet unnamed legs.\u00a0 In Weehawken, he became a live organ collector for Morty\u2019s Door-to-Door Coffin Emporium…but was fired for sampling the merchandise.\u00a0 He caught the itch for art again in Flushing, as a happy-face painter at Herbies Corpus\u2019 Human Taxidermy.\u00a0 He left to become a urinal cake decorator for Jakes Kakes in Coxsackie, New York (still giggles when he hears “Coxsackie”).<\/p>\n
When I finally tracked him down (milking bulls at the County Fair in Sheboygan) I offered him a job (and a hot shower) on the spot.\u00a0 Despite my personal dislike for his kind, real artists are hard to find now-a-days and he was my best and only hope for illustrating my extraordinary projects.\u00a0 It took some maneuvering but once I got him to sign my (clever) contract we set off, that very night, across America for a one month research road-trip\u2026..and didn\u2019t return for 10 years.\u00a0 What we discovered and documented in our search for Clowns, Freaks and Oddies is quite amazing…..but to learn more, you\u2019ll have to buy my books.<\/p>\n
These days, John spends his time illustrating for me, desperately searching for a way out of our contract (ha ha ha!).\u00a0 He often dreams of becoming a spotted pink rhinoceros while his sharper twin brother plots to take over the world.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Bio of Marsha Mellow by Marsha Mellow I knew I wanted to be a famous writer from the time I was a little girl (my high school cheerleading career was never going to pan out).\u00a0 Originally I thought I’d write books but growing up in a conservative, gated community in Texas left me with NO … Continue reading About Me…<\/span>